The Maldives / Vik Coincidence

So yesterday I mentioned how I’m slightly obsessive about tropical islands because of my lack of experience with them, and was excited to see that my blog has visitation from New Caledonia.

An hour earlier, I mentioned to my gf that if I could teleport, we’d be going to the Maldives this weekend. (Teleportation came up in conversation, trust me.) To be perfectly honest, I only know that the paradisical islands, the Maldives, exist because an ex colleague of mine, Vik, went there for his honeymoon. Vik is really great, but I was never close with him and he’s never on his Facebook account. 

Anyway, I went on the blogosphere and found a blogger who lives in the Maldives. I read a few of her posts, such wonderful pictures. Damn right I followed her blog.

So, before I went to bed I checked Facebook one last time and who did I see on my wall? VIK!!!!!!! (he caught a foul ball at a baseball game, great hands, Vik.)



Hello to more of the earth! 

( I’ve written about this topic before but not in a while.)

I’ve been blogging for three years or so.It’s really fun to write what’s on my mind, read what’s on other’s minds, comment, get in other’s lives. 

But what I didn’t know I’d like about blogging: international traffic. Dont get me wrong, I love the USA, but I think it’s really cool that people from all over read what I write. Even accidentally. 

My two newest countries? 

My penetration into that African continent is pretty low, so any new country is exciting, hello Mozambique! (though I think one of my semi-regular readers is in Nigeria, what is also awesome.)

Then there’s my affinity for exotic island nations. Perhaps it’s because my travel experience is rather limited and I’d love to experience fine, white sand and crystal clear water. So hello New Caledonia!

(And hello everyone else too. You rock as well. )

: D

Friends, Relationships

This Weekend and My Relationship

So remember when my gf Mona told me that she didn’t want to see me this weekend because she thought she wasn’t my priority because I wanted to go to my friend’s guys-only birthday party on Saturday night which was supposed to be me and Mona’s night? 

And that, after getting nowhere arguing with her, a joint therapy session was scheduled? 

And it turns out she wanted to go to a mud run on a day that she and I were supposed to see each other but I didn’t want to do it? 

Well, as of Saturday morning, she couldn’t give a rat’s ass about my going to my friend’s birthday party because now she has a thing she wants to do without me.

Which makes her a HYPOCRITE.

We were arguing with the therapist, not each other. 

Damn that was so weird how she switched to my side of the argument so quickly. I SO want to call her out on it- make sure she’s well aware of how she changed her mind once she had a vested interest but couldn’t care less when I was the only person with a stake in it.

Now, I know some of ny blogpeeps now have more ammunition against Mona, and would think I should proceed with such a confrontation. 

I also believe there are a few out there who would say “what would you gain by rubbing her nose in it and being righteous?”

Look, the way she is can be difficult at times.  She can be selfish, headstrong and attention-hungry. But she’s also fun, energetic, exciting, driven, focused, funny, fun, vulnerable, brilliant, clever, zany, sassy, bold.

We’ve all got our stuff. Some may think I’m being too accepting. I don’t know, it doesn’t feel like it, doesn’t feel like she’s going against any of my non-negotiable “terms.” Yes, we have ups and downs but far too many ups. 


PS… My friend Darren’s guys-only surprise party was ridiculous fun. Only one guest didn’t show up who said he would (which is WEAK)… but we had such a good time. Loud, obnoxious fun. Went through 36 beers or so, tons of chips, endless tales of old times. 
A friend even brought over DJ equipment, including an amp, smoke machine and a light -orb thingy. 

I even brought my tobacco pipe just to be different (we hung in his yard for a bit.)

Three of us crashed over the house. It was there or crash in our cars. 

Good times. 

Coincidences, fun

The Dunkin Donuts Coincidence 

So I went to Dunkin Donuts this morning for a coffee and since I had nothing to eat yet, I bought 5 munchkins.

Fifteen minutes later, in the car listening to the radio, I thought how I was too stuffed from Dunkin Donuts. A second later, the radio personally announced a program sponsorship, saying that it was “brought to you by Dunkin Donuts.”




Ok so today I get a text from my gf, Mona, asking me if I wanted to do one of those mud runs with her. My response? 

She’s been doing Crossfit and is in good shape now. Me? Not so much. My exercise time is nil due to Mona, my job, working late every day and my side job. 

“But you have 7 weeks to train?”

Look. I’ve attempted one of these things once and went in unprepared and I got my ass handed to me. Plus, I just don’t want to do it. 

Ok fine. Mona can go with her Crossfit buddies. BUUUUUUUUT, it’s on a day that she and I are normally together so she won’t go because she won’t sacrifice our time. 

“Mona, not seeing you that week will be bad, but please go. You really want this. Just go. We’ll deal with it.”

“No, no, no…. our time is important to me.” 

Oh good effing grief, woman. I decided to get the Mona Whisperer involved: her therapist, Maria. I texted her. She called Mona. Long story short, we’re having a joint session on Saturday.

A HA! The glove’s on the other foot now! Just yesterday we argued about ME doing something this coming weekend that I really want to do but it takes away from our time. Now SHE wants to do something on our day.

So yeah, Mona has since calmed down about seeing me this weekend. This weekend is back on. I’m seeing her AND going to my friend’s party Saturday night AND going to my friend’s BBQ on Sunday. Those dice have been cast. And the therapist is going to have us lay ground rules including exceptions, because they WILL happen. The therapist is afraid that now that we’re making exceptions that exceptions will start flooding in. Oh Lord have mercy, people. 

Yes, my eyes rolled when I heard about ground rules because that type of rigidity in a relationship is not appealing, but let’s see what happens on Saturday. I do like this therapist, Maria. But I’m not crazy about going to her every time we have something difficult to resolve. But I was tired of not getting through.

Tune in tomorrow for another episode of “As the Stomach Turns.”


She’s Canceling the Weekend

As you may recall from yesterday’s blog post about my wanting to go to my buddy’s guys- only birthday party on me and Mona’s weekend, Mona is none too happy with me for being willing to take away from our little time together on a Saturday. (Even though she was originally ok with me staying out on Friday.) I didn’t stand up for her and say “fellas, enjoy the party. Saturday is my night with my gf so I’m unavailable.”

I really didn’t think it would be that big a deal. I thought she’d be all “no prob, babe. Enjoy!”

Or maybe I just hoped. 

But now she told me that she doesn’t want to see me anytime Friday, Satutday or Sunday if I’m willing you give up Sat 730pm-1130pm. Originally it was Sat 830pm-Sunday 1030am but I offered the previously stated compromise. 

But no, she’s not budging. She’s calling me and raising me. She now does not want to see me this weekend at all, but wants to see me in two Sundays, which is the next scheduled time we see each other after this weekend. If dhe’s not a priority to me then I’m not one to her, she said.

Now of course I have to be all “no no, we’ll have none of that” and be sure to see her this weekend even if I have to show up uninvited and text her all weekend.

But honestly, part of me really wants to not see her anymore. I can’t tell if this is just a fight or the end is near. The end may be near, given what I just blogged about our money situation

Eh… we’ll see what happens. I’m not budging from my plans on Saturday.

Sunday is the wildcard I’m sure she’s waiting for. I have plans to go to a friend’s bbq Sunday and would need to leave her at 2pm. I’m sure she’s waiting for me to say “my darling I’m sorry, I’m going to throw away my Sunday plans to have more time with you.” It would only be 2 & 1/2 hours more than what I’m offering, but I’m sure she wants that. 

Ugh, blogging about it is just getting me more mad.

Im gong to bed. 


Need to Make More Money

Well, Mona and I had the money conversation again.


She has her own business and currently makes more than twice what I make. She does very well. I can’t talk figures, obviously. I do ok. And I’m only at my job almost a year. Before that, I was unemployed for two. Yes, two years. 

So she feels I’m too occupationally unstable and I make too little to be a true candidate for a husband. Not that I need to make a huge salary but it needs to reflect the next level… or two. I need to be able to afford my share of life, not be so tight with my budget. 

At first, 9 months ago, I needed to pay off my debt in order to meet her kids. But now, I need to be more of a financial catch. 

Look, I get it.  Not about the kids but in the words of 80s/90s rapper Big Daddy Kane… “there’s no romance without finance.” Life isn’t cheap, no woman wants to be in a relationship with a guy who’s a financial burden. But I’m not her equal. Not that I have to be, but I’m not even close. 

So my question is… why the hell did she stay with me in the first place?  And what the hell are we doing still together? She’s staying on hoping I can turn things around quickly?

Geez, no pressure. 

As tensions mount, I don’t know how long we can be like this. She tells me I make her feel like nobody ever had before  (probably because I entertain her shit.) That we’re two pieces of a puzzle that fit perfectly together. 

Well, guess what? Sounds like we’re pieces in a Jenga puzzle and it’s looking migh-ty wobb-ly.

Well, I DO need to start looking for a job. It’s time, I got my year in, more or less. I need to move and see what else is out there.  So who knows what the future holds. 

Fun times, right?