Building Self Esteem through Esteemable Acts: Flossing, making my own breakfast and kicking but at work

So I’ve been mentally up and down lately. I’ve always struggled self esteem-wise.  Maybe not always, but a lot. 

Now I’ve looked into “reprogramming my brain” by using the law of attraction, visualizing, meditation, affirmations… anything to get good thoughts/ vibes/ etc into my mind and build that new muscle. But you know what also works? 


A man I know likes saying that esteem comes from doing esteemable acts. Granted, I don’t have to save people from a burning building. I just have to not flake on the things I need to do and do them consistently. 


My teeth are ok. I mean I’ve had tons of fillings in my day but since they’ve been removed and replaced with porcelain fillings (is the white stuff porcelain?) They look great. But, I’ve never consistently flossed. Oh a month straight here, a few weeks off, a month there, a few months off,  etc. 

As now I’m back on a flossing kick. And being in action in a way that I want to feels good. 

I also have spent $5 a day for breakfast- bagel, coffee. However, when I cook oatmeal I save money and feel good about myself. 

And most importantly… at work. I took on an important project crunching my department’s numbers every month for the Monthly Business Review. I trained on how to do it, pull reports from Salesforce and paste and format into Excel. It’s not rocket science but very important and the timing is very important – needs to be done ASAP in the new month.

And my boss and his boss were concerned, not because of me but just because it’s timely. So I wanted to make sure to rock this project. 

And today I finished it a day early. BOOYAH!!!!!! That’s how Rex does it!

Yeah, I feel good about myself.

Life, Success

I Create Stress

There. I said it.

I listened to Tony Robbins’ tapes back when they WERE tapes. I think around 1995. I was up late at night and back then his infomercials could always be seen at that time. So I bought the tapes. 

I remember he spoke about a “Success Thermostat” that we all have, a level of success that we’re comfortable at and that we’ll sabatoge ourselves if we get really cookin past that level so we stay there at x level. 

I would think there are many factors that go into this subconscious level we have for ourselves. My theory is that is all tied to self worth and what I believe I’m able to do. 

So at work lately, I’ve found myself getting easily stressed about things that I thought were tough and getting kinda paralyzed to the point where during the day I subconsciously arrange it so I get swamped by easy work that is low hanging fruit and at night I regret not working on the hard stuff and tend to work late catching up. Or sometimes it doesn’t get done at night, gets pushed to the next day and the cycle begins again and things might gets pushed days down the line.  It they might even get forgotten and buried.

This has happened throughout my career. 

I can see how this can be the Success Thermostat that I have set for myself.  I create this stress, procrastinate and catch up as opposed to just doing the hard stuff FIRST.

I need to “eat the frog” early, as my previous boss told me once. Do the tough thing first. 

Ok, I’ll be honest. I’ve stressed a lot most my life. Things seem difficult, I get paralyzed, then I play catch up if I can. 

Am I immature or just lacking confidence? Am I lazy or playing dumb in order to avoid responsibility and accountability in life? Am I unable to focus or unwilling? Any one of those sucks. 

Well, there’s nothing I can do about the past. I do know that turning the boat atound is easier than it seems. 

Tony says to get role models. Success leaves clues. Find out what makes people successful and put that into practice. 

That’s one step. I have people in my life that are good business and career role models. 

I need to focus on success and get over how afraid I am by high responsibility. I need to focus on strength, confidence, ambition, drive, focus. High value, abundance, fortune. Replace the negative thoughts with positive and keep pushing myself to where I CONSCIOUSLY want to go. 


List some successes or wins

Hey all, I believe what you focus on expands. Let’s attract some success by listing some successes we’ve had or things we’ve won at in our lives.

I’ll start:

-When I was a kid, I won the Pinewood Derby in Boy Scouts
-At a job a while ago, I once received a 40% annual pay increase
-I graduated in the top 10% of my high school class
-I came in first in a “Funniest Resident of Queens” contest in 1998 at a comedy club.

There are much more, of course.

Now your turn, dear reader. Name some things that you’ve done/happened to you that you consider a success or a win.

Coincidences, family, Friends, Success

The Abbott and Costello Coincidence

So in yesterday’s Recipe for a great day I mentioned that last night I was talking to my friend “Brandon” about my idea about our talking heads comedy serious on YouTube.

I had been bouncing toys idea around for a couple weeks now and had envisioned that in it, he would be more of the “comedy straight man” like Abbott and I would be more wacky like Costello. I mentioned that too him last night.

Well… this morning I check Facebook and I see that my uncle happened to leave a picture of Abbott and Costello on my FB wall, fir a completely unrelated reason.

THEN while making plans via text with another friend, he said “who’s on first” which is a reference to Abbott and Costello, naturally.

If that’s not a crazy coincidence I don’t know what is. That’s practically a hammer on the head sign from God. Ok ok I get it.


Recipe for a great day

Ok so you all will probably be thinking “duh,” but I need to say this “out loud.”

I feel great about how today went.  No I did not get a job, nor laid.

But I kept my word. In a self help course I did in 2000, the definition of integrity is honoring my word, and doing everything I can to keep it. And if I realize I won’t be able to do that, communicate that to whoever is involved.  

There were many things that I wanted to do:

-I prayed before bed

-I stretched my hamstrings and my arms (I’m stiff, can’t come close to touching my toes while straight legged.  And also,  I have limited strength in my left hand, grabbing things with just my fingers is weaker. I have limited typing range. Stretching helps. Doctors haven’t helped.)

-I said my affirmations (Yes, I’m one of those.  I often have a lot of negative stuff bouncing around in my head. Especially now that I’m unemployed. So I’ve found going out of my way to say positive affirmations keeps me positive.)

-I meditated twice. (I recently reblog get The Benefits of Guided Meditations which has links to some YouTube guided meditation videos. They do the job.)

-I visualized (I find visualizing my goals already mine puts me in a good mindset.)

-Looked for a job today with very few distractions.  Applied to some good jobs, followed up on interviews,  networked.

-Ate and hung out with a friend on the cheap. I’ve been splurging so good to reel it in.

-With that friend had a great conversation about what’s going on in each other’s lives

-Got him on board with an idea for a talking heads comedy video blog (vlog)

I think I’ll do it again tomorrow!


Keep Your Head Up aka Motion Creates Emotion

Add I’ve mentioned before,  I’m currently unemployed.  Got laid off in August and I’ve been interviewing but nothing has been closed on yet.

Recently I’d gotten closer than I have been in this job search phase: had two phone interviews,  then called in to meet with five people, one at a time with a lunch in between. Quite the interviewathon.

I got the call yesterday that they decided to proceed with another candidate. Disappointing,  it was with a well known online company with a great future and lots of space to move around.  But I already have another interview lined up.

I told my friend “Kevin”,  he said “keep your head up” which is a common saying.” Head down” signifies depressed and blah. “Heads up” signifies good mood and confidence.

Our moods influence our movements,  and also our movements influence our moods.

Motion creates emotion, as Ben Affleck said at :22 in this speech from Boiler Room.

And you know what,  it’s true.  Tony Robbins talks about changing your state (of mind) by changing your physicality. A depressed person walks around slowly,  shoulders hunched over,  small paces, dragging his feet. 

A confident person is calm,  walks steadily and upright.  Maybe even struts. Or is he/she confident BECAUSE he/she struts?

Do we smile when we’re in a good mood,  or does smiling PUT US in a good mood?

I say both. 

Sometimes even when I feel down,  a mischievous smirk helps me feel… well… mischievous and in a place of action.

Whichever works.

So you got it, Kev, my head is staying up.