Friends, Relationships

This Weekend and My Relationship

So remember when my gf Mona told me that she didn’t want to see me this weekend because she thought she wasn’t my priority because I wanted to go to my friend’s guys-only birthday party on Saturday night which was supposed to be me and Mona’s night? 

And that, after getting nowhere arguing with her, a joint therapy session was scheduled? 

And it turns out she wanted to go to a mud run on a day that she and I were supposed to see each other but I didn’t want to do it? 

Well, as of Saturday morning, she couldn’t give a rat’s ass about my going to my friend’s birthday party because now she has a thing she wants to do without me.

Which makes her a HYPOCRITE.

We were arguing with the therapist, not each other. 

Damn that was so weird how she switched to my side of the argument so quickly. I SO want to call her out on it- make sure she’s well aware of how she changed her mind once she had a vested interest but couldn’t care less when I was the only person with a stake in it.

Now, I know some of ny blogpeeps now have more ammunition against Mona, and would think I should proceed with such a confrontation. 

I also believe there are a few out there who would say “what would you gain by rubbing her nose in it and being righteous?”

Look, the way she is can be difficult at times.  She can be selfish, headstrong and attention-hungry. But she’s also fun, energetic, exciting, driven, focused, funny, fun, vulnerable, brilliant, clever, zany, sassy, bold.

We’ve all got our stuff. Some may think I’m being too accepting. I don’t know, it doesn’t feel like it, doesn’t feel like she’s going against any of my non-negotiable “terms.” Yes, we have ups and downs but far too many ups. 


PS… My friend Darren’s guys-only surprise party was ridiculous fun. Only one guest didn’t show up who said he would (which is WEAK)… but we had such a good time. Loud, obnoxious fun. Went through 36 beers or so, tons of chips, endless tales of old times. 
A friend even brought over DJ equipment, including an amp, smoke machine and a light -orb thingy. 

I even brought my tobacco pipe just to be different (we hung in his yard for a bit.)

Three of us crashed over the house. It was there or crash in our cars. 

Good times. 

Friends, fun

The Trash Talk Never Ends

So… a year and a half ago I wrote Male bonding: Insults and to prove my point,  there’s my pal, Stan. Stan and I were roommates 2006-2008. We met pretty randomly: a friend of mine Karen (a dog walker) knew his dog walker, Meg, and I guess through their canine connection Meg mentioned that Stan just broke up with his live-in gf and is looking for a roommate.  

He and I met, had a few beers and got along great… and I quickly moved in. Talk about a fun two years.  We drank a whole lot of beer, he cooked great meals,  we ate take-out too, we drank tons of coffee (new coffee machine) and we’d even buy each other a 40 ounce bottle of Bud whenever the other had sex with a new woman. 

And we bs’d, playfully insulted each other and talked trash non-stop.
But Stan was also a professional and I learned a lot from him.  He was fun and he also he had his shit together.  Great job, an assertive negotiator of salary, level headed, focused.  He introduced me to higher quality dress shoes (great investment.) A good role model for me. 

Yeah I just said that.  At that time I was eating it professionally and Stan opened my world up to being serious about a career.

The addition of key people can change life significantly. 

Speaking of which, when I was living with him, Stan meet someone significant too, Lola, his now-wife. I moved out,  cuz she was movin’ in.

(Grumble grumble)

Oh well. All good things must come to an end.

We’ve hung some since. They moved to Colorado and I saw them there too. I’m friends with his cousin who now lives in NJ.

Every week or so,  Stan and I text- occasionally we catch up, but usually it’s to talk trash. It’s usually of the “Dick!” Or “Sack Lover!” variety, but here’s the text I got from him today. It’s exceptional trash talk: 

Do women ever talk like this?


“Hope all is well with you” is like saying “I have nothing more to say to you”

So, in Facebook I mentioned how I never saw the band U2 in concert. Then a former colleague, Andy, told me he has 2 extra tickets to U2 for when they come to the MetLife Stadium this summer. 

Whoa. However, I’m living lean these days and can’t afford the $250 for two tickets. So after two days I told him I can’t go.

“Thanks for letting me know. Hope all is well.”

Well that’s that. The official conversation ender. That means “I do not have ill feelings towards you but I have nothing more to say to you and I’d prefer to not have to try.”

I guess that’s true with light acquaintances. There’s only so much we can say before the silence comes. And we’re not about to start digging deeper like finding out about our childhoods or our biggest regret in life or anything like that?

Nope. We’re shallow friends. There’s nothing wrong with it. I can’t be close with everybody. And shallow we shall stay.

Coincidences, Friends, TV

The A-Team Coincidence

So today at work I had a great call with a co-worker who’s helping me with a project. At the end, I told him “I love it when a plan comes together” and he recognized it as a line from the TV show, The A-Team.

We both had a good laugh. 

Later, in Facebook, my friend Bob posts this picture from his neighborhood, saying that the A-Team must be in his town:

So naturally, a FB friend of his commented:


family, Friends

My 3 year old niece throwing a tantrum might as well be a condom commercial

I was over my friend Darren’s house the afternoon of New Year’s Eve. I’m godfather to his 3 year old, Lauren and she normally loves when Uncle Rex comes over.

As I walked in, Lauren had found the ice pack that Darren’s wife, Judy, had been using on her mouth so soothe the pain from oral surgery the day before. Judy was asleep in the bedroom when I walked in. Lauren was running around with the ice pack, licking it. 

After I took my shoes off and said my hellos, Darren chased down Lauren and took the ice pack from her. And she COMPLETELY LOST IT. 

Screaming worse than I’ve heard in any horror movie, kicking Darren violently so much so that he had to lay her on the couch where she continued for SCREAM at the top of her lungs and pound the couch with her legs. I looked at Darren and simply said (with my best tv commercial voice-over voice)  “Are you sure you’re ready for children? If not, buy Trojans”

Of course it was. When one parent does something she doesn’t like… call for the other. 

Eventually, poor Judy woke up and got her. And of course, Judy stopped screaming within seconds. 

I’ve been around kids enough to have experienced this many times before. (Heck, I can guarantee I WAS one of them)

.) Kids getting the concept of not always getting their way is certainly a STEEP learning curve. And for ME to see it a lot, parents must get it all the time from some of their kids at certain ages… I know many reading this are nodding along. 

Now, I know there are infinite great things about having kids. But seeing this outburst makes me a slightly less sad that I don’t have kids of my own.

Friends, movies

Sneaking sushi into the movies

Yep. Not a sandwich… not a burrito… SUSHI. Ah 2016.

My friends and I were out having a few drinks then went to see the new Star Wars movie (eh.)

But there was a question of what to eat for dinner. My friend Smitty suggested we eat sushi, he knew of a decent sushi dive near a subway station near the movie theatre. “Ok, we can eat quickly there then go in,” I proposed. 

“No, we can bring it inside the theatre.”

“Excuse me, what?” Yep, it’s 2016 all right, where we’re now sneaking sushi into movie theatres. 

Smitty didn’t try to hide the bag, with its trademark smiley face on it. The usher said “What do you have? Food?  Any drinks?” No.

And in we went.  Who knew food from outside is allowed in? And as luck would have it, these were plush seats with retractable tables.

A new age is upon us.


When a Practical Stanger says “Hope to see you soon”

Ok, my ol pal Joe posted from the Mets game with his older brothers Ryan and Sven, who I knew through him when we were growing up but I haven’t spoken to either in probably 25 years. And I don’t talk to Joe anymore, just the occasional FB comment, and at a reunion every 5 years or so. 

I said hi to them on FB. Sven replies back with general greetings… then with a “Hope to see you soon.”

Now, unless there is MAJOR effort on his part, not only will I NOT see him soon, but I will probably NEVER see him again. 

Which is fine. 

Now, assuming he just said that to be polite… it’s still weird. There are infinite things he could say: Glad to see you’re good, say hi to the family or whatever. 

But a person whom I have never had a relationship with to say “Hope to see you soon”? That’s just creepy