My Boss is Creating Drama 

So I have a new-ish boss, Dave. The one he replaced, Sally, was a company veteran and knows everything. Dave, however, is new to the company and industry and is trying to catch up. 

A few months ago, he said that my coworker, Maggie, complained to him that I bother her too much with questions to which I already should know the answers.

So from there, I hardly said a peep to Maggie or to anyone.  Sometimes stressing about if I should already know the answer or how I would look if I did ask someone. 


I never said anything to Maggie, didn’t want to ruffle any more feathers.


Well, yesterday Maggie tendered her resignation and because she’s going to a competitor, she was forced out today. So, I figured “what the hell?” and called her to get the scoop. 

Turns out, she didn’t say that exactly.  Maggie is very senior so Dave would ask her how Rex is doing. So she mentioned to him that I was asking her questions but already knew the answers.

That’s it. 


Forker. (sic)

So my boss’ misinterpretation not only caused me undue stress but caused a rift between me and Maggie. AND he used that to give me a negative review. 

Son… of a batch! (sic)

Turns out, Maggie has gripes about Dave too. She’s bled for the company for five years and this year especially and in her review he wrote only four sentences with some negative impressions.  Meanwhile, Maggie has been a rock star and he could have written a glowing chapter on her if he spoke to the previous boss, Sally, who is still at the company. Now, I don’t know if he did or he didn’t, but where there’s NO smoke, there’s NO fire.

Perhaps he just wanted to instill a little “fear off the boss” in me to drive me forward. Which, if he did, it kind of worked. But if not, then he’s a jackass.


Unrequested Help can be Annoying, and I Have to Put Up with it Since I Earned It

I’ve blogged before about two coworkers complaining to our boss about my asking them questions to which I should already know. And I’ve since stressed whenever I’ve had a question, concerned that I needed to think more about solving it myself before I ask, or if I really should be asking somebody and am just wasting time trying to figure it out.

And last Monday, I hit a roadblock and had to reach out to my coworker Sabrina for help.  Turns out, it was an easy answer that is normally in front of my face on a website I go to a lot, but since I never answer this type of inquiry, I’ve become blind to it on the screen. 


Then, on Friday, an inquiry came in and I tagged it that I’d answer it. As I’m writing up the answer… Sabrina sent me an IM, telling how to handle it. I didn’t ask for help, she just volunteered. 

It’s annoying for a few reasons: 

-She thought I couldn’t handle this easy situation too (which, I believe, us a common reaction to unrequested help, like an intrusion.)

-I’ve earned that reputation in her mind and probably other colleagues too. Damn.

I am not happy about this. This is the bed I made, now I have to sleep in it. The only thing to do at this point is do good work consistently and fix my reputation.

Work it. Work it. Work it.

Breakthrough, Career

Needing Grace and Receiving It

So I have a side job of taking external pictures of real estate. Not places that are up for sale, a listings company just wants to keep updating what everything in an area looks like. 

One of the challenges is the sun.  I can’t shoot directly into it obviously, though I CAN block it with my clipboard as long as I’m not impeding the view on the building I’m shooting. 

Usually, I’m assigned to long stretches along entire streets: I shoot all houses on one side, then I shoot the same stretch but the other side. If the sides face east and west, the sun will come into play and ultimately will slow me down when I’m facing it, and my friend pays me by the hour but needs me to go as fast as possible. He’d love me to go 2 miles per hour, but I usually go 1.4-1.6. Today, my first street was facing the sun and it was slowing me down and I was surly. Many things have been upsetting me lately and this was just putting me over the top and I was just grumpy.

But then, the subsequent batches of houses that I was assigned to didn’t face the sun.  For like 2+ hours, but when I faced it again but it was setting enough so it wasn’t a bother. 

Somebody “up there” threw me a bone, and I greatly appreciate it. Thanks, God/spirit/angels/universe/vibes… whoever the Great Mystery is. It’s nice to be blessed. 


Worth bringing up to a coworker or not?

So a couple of us stepped up to watch another team’s queue of client inquiries through a different email box.

One of my immediate teammates, Jen, said how minding that emailbox in the afternoon would be difficult for her because there are only 3 of us, Jen, Michele and me, watching our own emailbox of client inquiries at that time and that “typically, Michele and (Jen) end up being the most aggressive in answering inquiries.”

Now, maybe I’m sensitive, but I think that makes me sound like I don’t do my job. Jen has a way of being too wordy and overly explanatory. I do have a project that I take an hour out of the afternoon to work on.  Perhaps she meant that but the way she said it needs work. 

I’m in a confrontational mood these days with what happened with Mona but this is work. Not sure if I should bring it up to her.  We all work from home so communication is sparse between us all anyway. 

But this is a woman who had a problem with my taking an hour to work on this project (when I would take it in the mornings) and didn’t say anything to me yet mentioned it to my boss.

I don’t want to be the guy who has drama all the time. 



Yes! I asked a valuable question at work! 

So these past couple weeks my boss told me that coworkers complained that I asked them questions to which I should already know the answer and was, in a way, wasting their time. 

We use Salesforce to track tasks and we have a new version and we have to get used to it. Things are on different screens and yesterday I realized that I hadn’t seen any particular tasks assigned to me lately. 

Should I ask coworkers where they are or shouldn’t I? How will it seem that I don’t know this? Back and forth, back and forth. Hmmmm….

Well, today on our weekly team call, at the end when it was “Does anybody else have any other questions?” I sucked it up and asked.

And it was a damned good thing I did. At least 2 others from my 5 person team was not aware of where to look. Maybe even 3 others.

YES! That felt like some nice redemption! I asked a good question! 

Career, Relationships

Holy crap am I exhausted

I’ve been burning the candles lately. And not even for fun purposes.

Working that 9-5. It’s going well, though last week my boss gave me a bit of a warning. This week is just busy, trying to ask for help less unless I REALLY need it, but stressing if I really need it or not, or if I should just think more of how I can do it myself.  Then time goes by and I still have to ask for help. 

Sometimes I tried to figure it out or took initiative and it backfired. Ugh. I’m getting trigger shy.

Then I communicate to my team that I was taking an hour in the morning to work in a project and not to be disturbed.  After the team ok’d it my boss told me I shouldn’t be doing that after I was almost over anyway. 

And I’ve had a cold for a week.

And I’ve been working my side job taking real estate pics for hours on end on my only free day of the weekend and I come home exhausted and can’t move. My apartment is a mess but I have no energy to clean. 

At night I’ve been uploading pictures. Like every weeknight for a while since I put it off for a couple weeks. Except this week because Google Drive tells me that my memory is gone and I’ve been deleting and deleting but haven’t moved the needle. 

My sleep was effed 3 days in a row last week.

I’ve had two cold sores in the past month. 

My gf and I haven’t kissed in forever between cold sores, me sick, her sick before that. I haven’t been able to work by her office in a couple weeks.  That really gave us some extra time. And we only really have a weekend every other weekend together which blows. Ok on the alternate weekends we have Sunday for 5 hours but it’s not the same. 

And… We haven’t advanced cuddled in a month.

I’m at my wit’s end. Need some time do get shit done. And some time to relax. And just more energy. 


Warning at Work

So… my new job isnt so new anymore. 7 months. I am still learning every day, asking a lot of questions, stepping up for things and trying to figure them out. 

I mainly use one coworker peer Jane for questions. She’s very senior in the job. Knows everything. I prefer to talk on the phone when I ask questions. I try to make them “good questions.”


Well, I have a standing weekly call with my boss, Terry. Today, he brooched a subject by saying “This isn’t easy to say…”

That’s not good. 

Apparently, I have been asking questions to which I should already know the answer. I do tend to check with people to see if my reasoning is sound, or if what I’m doing is right. I didn’t think it was that much, or eating Jane’s productivity. 

But that’s what my boss said. Someone was concerned about her productivity because of ME.

Wow, that’s not good. 

Now, I’m not going to dispute her point of view. I think it’s exaggerated but whatever. I need to be mindful and confident that I know at least initial answers. It wasn’t really a warning. Just a heads up. 

But probably was definitely a warning. 

I’m a little perturbed that they haven’t been coming to me about it. Confrontational conversations are tough, I guess. I do feel kind of alone now.  I mean, I DO work alone at home. But I have no confidante. I thought I did, but no. I’m on my own.

Having a talk with my boss isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I did a few jobs ago early on. Set me on a better path. 

It’s all good.