At that point again where I need to radically change my actions

Ok, I interviewed for a job at my company. I did not get it. They’re looking for a specific degree now with specific client experience which I’m close to but don’t quite have. And apparently they don’t want to cultivate a new person to learn the position, they want someone who had that exact position before.

I haven’t had another interview, one outside my company in quite some time, nobody is responding to my applications or to my friends referrals.

And I’m starting to get depressed. Pity party for one.

I’m starting to make myself wrong for every mistake in my career that I’ve made that has led to my predicament.

My income vs cost of living is ok for a man who doesn’t want to save a lot, doesn’t want a car or doesn’t wasn’t to be in a relationship or go on vacation.

But I now need a car, I have a girlfriend, want to go on vacation and need to save money.

So I’m fucked. Plus I can’t be in this position at my company long term. I need to grow.

Of course, this isn’t great for my relationship with Mona. I can tell she’s less and less excited about my inability to progress my career. No woman would be excited to be with this type of man. I get that. Mona deserves better.

She tells me I should get a job at Google. Yeah, just like that. I actually know people there, at Facebook, etc… honestly, I don’t feel I’m that high quality to belong there. They take the cream of the crop. I look at my experience and that equals no.

So… relationships cost money, engagement rings cost money, weddings cost money. Vacations cost money. Retirement costs money.

I just don’t have passion in my career. I never have. I don’t know where I’m going with this.

It’s times like this I feel like an embarrassment to my parents. I’m “a good person” yes but with no plan in life I’m no good to anybody.

I need to bring in big change. Radical change. Attitude, energy, work ethic, ambition, focus, decisiveness, strength, confidence. I need to be different. I need my life to be a training montage from a Rocky movie.

I need to be Better Rex because Current Rex is mediocre.


  1. I’m in the same boat as you, I suppose. Unfortunately growing in a job or more broadly in a career can be hard. Me if I can growth withing a company or an industry I’d rather just find a way to hang up a shingle.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. There is a maximum for every job – highest rung on the ladder, maximum pay, etc. Not everyone is meant to be at the top (that includes me) and not every job gets the most pay. But if any woman (or man) is bringing you down instead of up, they are not a good person. I was with a guy for 5 years and he was unemployed for 18 of those months. He was just depressed and lacking in motivation. I didn’t tell him he was a piece of shit or unworthy or that I didn’t want to be with him. I encouraged him and stayed positive and he eventually got back on his feet. He owns his own business now, so I’ll take the credit for that 🙂 We are all mediocre at times, but you can’t force what isn’t there.


  3. Rex, you are definitely not an embarrassment to your parents…i know I don’t know you, but from what you write on here, you seem like a good guy. p.s. you can’t want to marry a woman until you spend time with her kids


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