Worst Sleeping I’ve Ever Had= Sickest I’ve Been in a Long Time

So, I’ve never really been a good sleeper. I’ve had my bouts with tossing and turning, not getting comfortable, can’t shut my mind off, or just not tired.

And yes… is probably all due to stress, but let me talk this through anyway.

If I can dive deep, it may be related to a bad head injury I had as a kid. I certainly remember tossing and turning around that age.

Ok, I’ll spare you the details of each bout I’ve had. Jump to now.

Maybe 2 months ago, I started waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to fall back asleep for a while. Sometimes I’d wake at 5am and that’s it, just laying in bed.

Ugh.

Less sleep, my resistance goes down, obviously. So I got a cold sore last week. Ugh. Not great for Mona/Rex intimacy. She gets them too occasionally, but my prior cold sore was pretty recent so UGH.

Yhat was upsetting but we got over it.

Now, I still can’t sleep well at Mona’s. I think it’s because I’m so used to having a Queen bed to myself, so half a Queen is tight. I have motion problems with my left hand/arm so I try not to squish it. AND I can’t fall asleep on my back to save my soul.

UGH.

So Friday I slept poorly. Saturday I woke up (or just got up) at 6am so I could get a jump taking real estate pictures for my side yob (sic)

Almost ten miles later in the high 30s into 40s, my feet were hurtin for certain. And driving home I realized that I had this crazy chill.

We went to our dinner plans and Sunday morning… HO LY CRAP I was run down. I called an audible and told Mona I was going home in the morning so I could just crash at home and not get her sick, which she agreed with.

So I was pretty much in bed for TWO FUCKING DAYS.

Not only was I coughing, sneezing and had low energy but my feet were hurting so much (thanks Advil) and the… area where I had my… uh… hernia surgery years ago, was killing me too, that gets aggravated with exertion. Not only did I have a terror of a cold but near 10 miles of pounding the pavement punished me.

Sunday night went to bed at 10pm… Monday early morning, woke up ridiculously early and couldn’t fall back asleep, Felt like crap. Called in sick.

Tuesday, woke up early again and thankfully, by some miracle, even though I slept shittily, my energy started to return and I was able to work today (Tuesday).

Now… tonight. I have to make this happen. My pal Gonzalez and I have plans for dinner and a cigar on Thursday and I’d really like to go. His daughter Daisy is so excited that I’m coming over. She’s such a highlight of my day, so cute as playful. I’d hate to let her down. I’m sure Dayquil could cure my ills for the evening if I’m still more sick than not. I also don’t want to bring this pestilence into their house.

Insult to injury: I live in an apartment building and cannot control my heat. And since this is the never-fucking-ending winter, the heat just PUMPS at night, causing 2 issues:

  1. It’s 1000 degrees in my room, and
  2. It CLANG CLANG CLANGs when it’s on.

This is possibly what’s waking me up, if I do fall asleep (yes, I use earplugs too.)The heat pumps until midnight or so, then it comes on at 5am-ish. I’ve actually put the AIR CONDITIONING on during the winter at times, sometimes just the fan.

I need GOOD SLEEP. ONGOINGLY. I’M NOT FUCKING AROUND. I need to stay asleep until the alarm clock goes off. I’m going to put this blasted phone away at 830pm, dim the lights, read a bunch, mediate, sacrifice a (picture of a) goat, even spray my nose (dangerously addictive but I need to pull out all the stops).

An additional effect is that when I’m up, not feeling well, can’t sleep… My mind goes negative and self deprecating. I’m am my Orem worst enemy at those times.

Fun times, right?

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7 comments

  1. I used to be a really bad insomniac. I would sleep maybe 2 hours then be up and not be able to go back to sleep. This caused a lot of issues for me, especially when I hit my breaking point and spent a week at my local psychiatric facility (Completely voluntary). They started me out on 5mg of Ambien. I always broke it in half when I was home and that worked to keep me asleep. I also trained myself to sleep in a certain position, so that sleep would come easier.

    The only complaint that I had about Ambien was the weird dreams and increased libido. Other than that, 6 months on it I was sleeping a lot better. Now I just take Melatonin every other night when I find that I am having a harder time sleeping. My issue was childhood trauma and a brain injury from a car accident. Night terrors are a real bitch.

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  2. Ugh. I have sleep problems too but I hate taking pills (and sleeping pills can be highly addictive) so I started using a natural cortisol reducer. Melatonin only helps you get to sleep, not stay asleep. A cortisol reducer night help. Good luck. Hope you get a good nights sleep soon 😴

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