I haven’t been diagnosed, but I’m sure have anxiety. I don’t know if that’s an actual clinical disease, condition, etc… but by and large… many things make me nervous and paralyze me.
- I didn’t do an internship during college because the whole idea made me anxious (I did some AFTER graduating only because I learned they were the solution to the whole “how can get experience to get a job if I can’t get a job to get experience?” issue.)
- I stayed at a job 7-8 years too long because the idea of a job search made me anxious.
- After winning a stand you comedy contest once, I never contacted them to claim part of the prize which was a spot on a pro show.
I can go on forever.
Even at work, over the years I’ve not done things, not because I couldn’t do them but because they made me anxious (then I’d have to own up, act dumb like it wasn’t on purpose, sometimes re-commit to a new timeline, sometimes the project just went away.)
Why so anxious? Who knows? I have a few really traumatic experiences before 13 years old that’s probably shaped me. Ugh.
Why am I mentioning this now? Because today I noticed how I let something not get done, noticing that my anxiety has reared its ugly head again.
I probably could use some anti depressants, but God I’d hate to start a pharma solution. I hear so many bad side effects and dependencies. Seems like often they cause more harm more than good. I guess keeping myself aware of it is the only thing I can do. Keep committed to breaking the cycle.
Does anyone else have anxiety or bad nerves?