Do you know how much money your spouse makes? 

So when dating Mona,  we talked money. We had to when it became known that I was not well off and was irresponsibly burning through savings. 

Very open as to what the other made.  Especially me. She has her own business with a part in cash so I now suspect the very even, rounded number that she gave is a lie. But me, I’m salaried. So $x=$x.

But I was talking to my cousin Paul about money. Not how much he makes, its none of my business, but if he knows how much his wife, Becky, makes and vice versa. I would think so…

HOWEVER… he said he does not and she does not. They are very financially separate, even in knowing the others incomes.

I realize that many married couples still keep separate books, but is that common among married couples to not even know how the other is doing, as long as they are covering the expenses they’re responsible for? I would think secrecy like that in a marriage would be detrimental, no? 


  1. If there’s enough to cover the bills and meet financial goals, I don’t see why not knowing would be a problem.

    My ex-husband and I never merged our money – it was honestly awesome. There was no financial stress because we didn’t need to track what the other was spending. We managed our own money. However, we obviously both knew what each other was making because we filed taxes “married jointly”.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Sometimes I think my parents would’ve been better off having separate books. My dad liked to burn through money and money mother was always a conservative with money. And my mother had a better job and my dad would be jealous of that fact.

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  3. Money and sex are the two biggest things couples fight about. My parents for sure – money money money. It was all I ever heard about growing up. As far as I’m concerned, separate everything is the way to go – checking accounts, credit cards, tax returns, etc. If somehow I ever end up married or even playing house, that has to be the deal.

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  4. “You’re not married are you?”

    That’s what older married guys from my old job would say to me when I asked them what they were going to do with their overtime money. It went straight to the wife. Maybe they got a package of beef jerky if there was any money left.

    Another guy said his wife wanted the kids on vacation with them so that it would ensure no intimacy.

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  5. We have had joint accounts and shared everything since we moved in together. Having secrets in a marriage is not a good thing. Why wouldn’t you know? We make all financial decisions together. We have been married for 16.5 years.

    And honestly, I cannot for the life of me figure out why you are trying to work things out with Mona. She has made it clear that you aren’t good enough for what she thinks she deserves. It’s disgusting. After 2.5 years you haven’t even met her children, that says everything about what she thinks of you. I’m sorry to be so blunt, but it’s true. You deserve better.

    Liked by 4 people

    • Exactly. I honestly don’t get it either. Most of your blog followers don’t seem to like her and for good reason. We’ve heard little else besides negative things and other stuff that raises red flags. And I’m not the only one to suggest you should have written a post listing all her positive qualities. I remember another blog follower proposing that as well. I’m still curious to know what the attraction is, because I would have noped out of there so long ago. You can’t dread being single that much.


  6. The spousal unit & I have had nothing but joint accounts since we got married 36+ years ago. I do our taxes, so of course I know exactly what she makes, and she knows what I make. Heck – she can see all the auto-deposits of every paycheck for the last umpteen years if she wants. We discuss major expenditures, but for the most part little things we never worry about.
    What she isn’t up to date on is what I’ve stashed away in 401k’s & IRA’s. Not like I haven’t told her, she’s just “whatever – take care of it”.


  7. Dating my partner for almost a year now, we are completely open about our finances. Finances are very important in a serious relationship and both parties should be transparent (in my opinion).

    Liked by 1 person

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