movies, Relationships, Uncategorized

I can’t afford a relationship

Backstory, I’m on a budget. An actual one. I have $x for rent, $y for credit card bills,  $z for spending on gf activities etc.

And lately, it’s been tested, bent and broken. 

Two weeks ago, Oct 7, Mona wanted to go out with her friend as a couple. She also had play tickets for this past weekend, Oct 21, with a friend but wanted to meet up with me and other friends for a dinner afterwards. One that I would pay for (for our share) . 

Now, if the dinner with the friends Oct 7 was going to be expensive, then the dinner on Oct 21 woundn’t’ve been possible $-wise.

As Oct 7 approached, we tried to target a “casual” (see “cheaper”) restaurant and made a reservation but the day of that all went down the crapper because Mona and her friend didn’t think it was a nice enough place. Ultimately, we would up at a hibachi-sushi place. Mona and I decided that my November spending was going to be lite due to my birthday and I could transfer funds to October. So we proceeded. 

Her friends do well and didn’t hold back ordering, why would they? And had some alcohol too.

The bill came and…  they decided to pick up the whole check, appreciative that we’d go east out east in Long Island.

Ok, swallow my pride, accept it. But now I have enough for dinner on Oct 21 after meet Mona and friend after they see a play. 

However, Oct 20th arrives and the friend who had the other ticket was really sick and couldn’t go.  And Mona wouldn’t go alone and didn’t want her friend to waste her money. So Mona bought her ticket and took me instead. Hello Dolly! with Bette Midler. Wasn’t crazy about the story but the acting, singing, songs were top notch. David Hyde Pierce  (Niles from the TV show “Frasier”) was in it too.

I can’t afford it, but I’ll take it as a gift in a pinch. 

But that created more drama. 

We had lunch in Manhattan first.  I told Mona to pay for that and I’d cover the LIRR train ticket.  That meant I had to borrow a little from November but not much. I wasn’t comfortable borrowing any more from November.

Lunch was great. We go into CVS for some toiletries. My Mona budget is done at that point, so I ask Mona to pay for her share. 

And she loses it. 

She paid probably $150 for the ticket. I didn’t have to pay her back but I couldn’t lay out $15 for lotion and floss, regardless of where it came from?

Yes, of course I could but in the moment I was trying to honor my budget, thought she’d appreciate that. Plus my brain was fried from all this budget talk about what I had and didn’t. Plus, just the fact that it was toiletries threw me off. Seemed like an odd thing to treat my gf too. Me overanalyzing again.

So there we were, arguing as we walked through Times Square. Yes, the Naked Cowboy is now well aware that I’m on a budget. She was crying too. A textbook shitshow.

We got over it for the rest of the day, the play and dinner were great… but I think this’ll break us. My money situation isn’t changing fast enough to move us forward and she doesn’t know how to deal except put more pressure on me.

I’ve been applying and interviewing but I’m starting to get numb. 

That’s not good.

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10 thoughts on “I can’t afford a relationship

  1. But, but, but – you could trim your CC payment to $750, still be done in 3 months and free up some dinero to grease Mona’s skids a bit. Well, if she’s not willing to accept that things will be improving come December.
    Of course, there may be a lower maintenance option out there . . .

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m baffled by Mona’s lack of integrity. She wants to support your financial goals, yet she doesn’t honor your budget.

    Does she know exactly what your budget is, not just for Mona stuff but for everything else? If you haven’t already, you might want to show her your spreadsheet so she knows exactly what you’re working with and how important it is to stay within it.

    I don’t recall you mentioning that she is also on a tight budget. If she has the money to spend, this should all be a non-issue.

    Like

      1. That was my point, ie that I didn’t think she was on a budget because you hadn’t mentioned it before.

        So your salary and budget should be a non-issue. She should bite the bullet and spend a little more since that’s what she seems to want.

        Liked by 1 person

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