Last minute plans with friends= Unhappy girlfriend

So ok… my gf Mona and I see each other every other weekend 7pm Friday to 8am Sunday. The weekends in between we only see each other Sunday 11a-430pm. So not a whole lot.

Weeks ago, Mona said a ladies night was being planned this Friday, so instead of 7pm, I’ll meet her around 11pm. Takes away our Friday evening but hey, she has limited “no child” time so no biggie. I’ll visit a buddy near her place before I go to get house at 11pm.

Now… i have a friend Darren. I know him since I was 12, I’m godfather to his daughter. His wife, Vivian, is putting a guys- only house party together for his birthday. The bunch of us rarely see each other and it would be really cool if we just showed up to his house unexpectedly. A legendary party with lots of music, laughs and alcohol. One that would make sense for me to crash there overnight.

It was to be on Friday or Saturday. Vivian asked us for availabilities. Now, Friday was better for me since Mona has plans Friday night. However, when the guys gave in their availabilities, more couldn’t do Friday than Saturday. 

Does Rex take a firm “no Saturday” stand? No. My friends are important and we rarely get together like this. So I pitch it to Mona as I can be with her until 8:30p. Then I’ll go to Darren’s, stay the night, return to Mona’s on Sunday 1030am-2pm.

I wouldn’t normally see her on a Sunday because I work my real estate photography job but I’m not going this Sunday. I have a bbq that I’ll be attending in the afternoon. So Mona andI can have some more time together. 

I didn’t ask for her for permission. I told her this was my idea to make everything work. 

Aaaaaaaaaaaand………

I’m in the doghouse. 

We only have two weekends a month together. Plus she’s going on vacation in early July which will take at least one weekend away. 

Dog. House. I was hoping for a “hey, I understand this is important to you. I’m sorry we will spend less time together this weekend but I’ll deal with it.” 

BUT rather I got “You’re making your friends a priority over me. You’re taking away from OUR time. You choose THEM over ME” Which ok, is technically true. And I wish I could change the date of the party. But I can’t. 

And, of course, this was all over text this morning and really distracted untilI had to say “no more arguing over text fit the rest of the day.”

So… fun times.

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43 comments

  1. Um… this is bullshit. She can take away couple time but you can’t?? Big double standard.

    Maybe there’s a compromise that would satisfy both of you. Can she cut out early on her Friday night plans and do you have to stay overnight at Darren’s?

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Lol, I know this situation far too well. I have such limited time with Captain that I really try to limit my other friend activities when I don’t have the kids. But sometimes things pop up. You did well trying to fit it all in. It’s tough, she’ll be pissy, but she’ll get over it.

    Tell her to introduce you to the kids already and maybe then you can see her more. 😉

    Liked by 2 people

      • Whatever then. Those are the downfalls. I get wanting to make sure the emotional impact on the kids is as minimal as possible but there are going to be ways it impacts your relationship. It just is what it is. You do your best to make your relationship a priority but you can’t blow everyone else off. And you guys have been together now long enough that you’re not in a terribly vulnerable and new position. You’ve put in your work and you two can handle a little curveball now and then.

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      • Someone mentioned the need to make sure you and the kids mesh well. That’s vital. And not just for her sake but for yours as well. It may not be a life you want. And maybe it is. But she can’t compartmentalize every part of her life and expect to keep everyone happy.

        On another note, as you’ve mentioned before, there are plenty non-fans of Mona. I think part of that is that she’s very “one note” in your blog. You’ve used it to vent and express your side of things. I think you’ve shared little about her personally to respect her privacy. So it’s more about you, not necessarily her. But without understanding why she makes certain choices or feels certain ways, it’s hard to be supportive of her actions. Not trying to pry, just so you know. Just trying to help you not feel like you constantly have to defend her. For example, I don’t know why she’s concerned with having a future husband immediately after a failed marriage. Sounds like she’s trying to dictate a fail-proof future. It’s impossible. Caution is good; it’s great even. But there are no guarantees in life. (Sorry to sound cliche.)
        As for money, I get her concerns. But I suspect it’s more of a concern with career stability . Your relationship has been good that it forces you to try harder and be better. But you’ve done a great job hustling and reducing your debt. Pat yourself on the back a bit for that. You’re a great guy and are hard on yourself. Ease up a tiny bit. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Mona’s anger understandable but we have to accept there are other people and things in one’s life. . Violating scheduled time, planned time causes resentment . Seems she feels cheated and in one sense that is flattering but we can’t own people or their time.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Friends are important, too. I get that you don’t have much time together, but I think you’re trying to figure out a way to work it out. I’d be sad…but not mad…if I had to miss time with someone. It’s not like you were doing it to avoid her.

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    • Yes. I’m trying to work everything out.we had a conversation (actually speaking in the phone) and in her mind it shouldn’t have ever been an idea in my head to not sirens tome with her. I caved and came up auth an option to go to the party, not drink a lot and go home you her. I would still be getting home no earlier than 1130. She doesn’t like that option either. Ugh. My patience is wearing thin with this princess

      Liked by 1 person

  5. My friend. It’s bullshit. The thing is, it’s fine to be disappointed but to make you run hoops around a plan and not drink and see your friends – that’s why some women are called a “ball and chain”. It’s ridiculous. I think at some level you know it?

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Um…not for me to give relationship advice but WTAF??!! You haven’t met her kids after TWO YEARS! She sets all the rules and she guilts and manipulates your every move. A strongly worded conversation needs to be had. Just my two cents. Good luck.

    Liked by 2 people

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