Relationships

We did NOT break up after all

I know, I’m going to hear it.

I did not break up with Mona after all.  We had a LONG therapy session, 2+ hours.  I did not hold back, even told her I came prepared to break up with her. I yelled a bit too… definitely lost my cool at times. 

I’ll spare the details, but we got to a compromise where she paid half of the damages of the glasses.

Well, not exactly. She treated me to something I was going to buy that was worth half the price of the repair. 

Why couldn’t she just give me $40? Beats me. She felt weird, I shouldn’t have agreed to take it in the first place, blahblahblah. It’s all very strange. 

Ladies, I know this sounds weird, but are you angels with your men? Do you give your men any quarter in arguments, or pull the “women are always right” card out more than you care to admit?

They say behind every angry woman there’s a man who had no idea what he did- that as men, we ride the unpredictable wave that is woman and try to provide stability. I chalk her behavior partially up to that. 

“Choose your battles wisely,” as they say. It wasn’t worth breaking up but I stood my ground enough so she had to compromise too.

We wound up having a nice weekend, though it was a bit tenuous at first since we had that crazy argument. 

Saturday we exchanged Valentine’s Day presents: she got me a couples massage/spa session plus tchotchkes, I got her some earrings and tchotchkes.

She did bring up the fact that I told her I was ready to break up with her.  A few times. She was obviously still taken aback from it. 

We had some advanced cuddling. I could tell that we both were slightly removed because of the fight still, but we wanted to get some momentum going, which helped. A little oxytocin goes a long way. 

We’re not fully healed but pretty close. I do love her. 

The thing that’ll really bother both of us is our schedule. I can’t work from her office anymore. She said it’s too distracting for her, even if I try to be quiet. So that means I see her a full weekend, then a Sunday of the next weekend, with that cycle repeating.

The full weekends won’t really be a full weekend. The Saturday of our full weekend, she’ll spend an afternoon with one child so I have to make myself scarce for 5 hours. This is a new development at the children’s request since they don’t see enough of the father.

Ups and downs. Mostly ups still.

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24 thoughts on “We did NOT break up after all

  1. So she bought you something you didn’t really need, for HALF the value of the repair that you DO need? And you still get to pay the FULL cost of the repair. Rex, I know you love her and there are good times as well as bad, but you are going to spend the rest of your life capitulating and comprising with her whenever there is conflict. And she’ll win every time. When things are good, they’re good- but when things are bad, it’s her way or the highway.

    And no, you shouldn’t have to put up with this “women are always right” bullshit. You’re on a road to saying ‘yes dear’ for the rest of your life just to keep the peace. You give the impression that she didn’t want to budge one inch in this conflict – do you really want to have a two hour therapy session every time you have a disagreement about something?

    Liked by 5 people

      1. Age? Is that autocorrect? 😀 😀

        Way I see it, she got out of paying what she SHOULD have paid for by buying you a present. I may be wrong, but…that’s how I see it.

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  2. I commented on the last post.

    And no, I don’t act like a petulant child in arguments. I’ve never pulled a “woman is always right” bullshit argument – unless I’m joking because I know I’m wrong.

    I’m afraid while you may have dealt with the financial transaction you haven’t really address all of the red flags in your relationship.

    Liked by 4 people

  3. My dad always told me that if my facts were right, then I would have the leg up in any dispute. I’ve never heard of a woman winning an argument just because she’s a woman. That is ridiculous. I don’t think you’re at the end of this rocky road though.

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  4. I mean, I’m glad you didn’t break because I know that would’ve been hurtful. But…I feel like she’s always going to resent you for not letting her off the hook her the glasses and it will come up again.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Funny you say that, I was doing to bring that up in my individual session with the therapist tonight, because i resent giving into half value, so i think a compromise where nobody us 100% happy works in this case

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  5. Oh dear gods.

    No. Women are not always right. We are wrong just as much as men and those of us that are adult enough to realise we make mistakes and can own up to them and apologise. And bloody well pay for breaking my boyfriends glasses.

    Cool fact: I met my boyfriend when he was employed. He lost his job due to staff cuts. For 6 months I helped feed his kids, buy clothes and pay for his gas to get to job interviews. I never once expected him to pay for me. He is since employed again and can pay his own way and we split everything. I can say that if I were to lose my job he would do the same because that’s what a relationship is about. Helping your partner when they are in a pickle. Not expecting them to line your road with money.

    To me it sounds like she wants a sugar daddy. Sometime to pay for her and themselves while she laps it all up.

    I honestly don’t see what you are getting out of this relationship but baggage and the fact you say you love her.

    I meet my boyfriends kids after 6 months of dating because it’s bloody important to see how your future full time partner reacts to ones children. That she’s withholding them from you for something as silly as you being in debt makes me wonder what kind of woman you’ve gotten yourself entangled with.

    But at the end of the day you are the one that has to deal with her. Not me (thank fuck, I’d have put her on the curb months ago). Good luck with it. I dare say you’ll need luck in spades.

    Sorry if that sounds harsh, but reading about your relationship for as long as I have it’s not really painted a nice picture of her character. And it’s a person’s character that shines through in bad times.

    I won’t really rant again at you about this again as you’re a grown man and can make your own decisions. I just think you deserve better.

    Sorry about errors typed this on my phone during my lunch break.

    Liked by 6 people

      1. 😘😘 Yup all good. Just crazy busy with work and my mother when I’m not at work. Hoping life slows once P and I move this year and I can go back to writing 😊 hope things are well with you too!

        Liked by 1 person

      1. I usually only say I’m right when I know I’m wrong. But that’s cause I’m a cheeky shit.

        You are so dating the wrong kind of women if you think we all think we are right. All that shows to me is immaturity. Not being able to admit to ones faults is not endearing or something anyone should have to compromise on.

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  6. Compromise is good as long as everyone’s happy. It’s not our relationship, Rex. You do what makes you happy. You know the ins and outs of it and what it takes to make it work. It is going to be, though, an uphill battle with schedules and lack of time. Make the most of it and good luck finding the right balance for you guys.

    And. No. We women are not always right. That’s bs.

    Liked by 1 person

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