Career, Relationships, Responsibility

I REALLY want to pick a fight with her (Facebook fight follow up) 

Ok. To catch you up… my gf Mona was upset with me because I posted on Facebook outside my lunch hour and she thinks it’s irresponsible for somebody who should be concentrating on working and not broadcasting that I’m not working during work hours. She thinks it’s indicative that I’m not serious professionally. 

Now…the way Facebook works, or at least the Android app, is when I look at a post I made that day, it approximates how many hours ago it was. 

BUT… the next day, when I look back, it gives exact times. So today I looked… you know… for shits and giggles: 

Exactly 61 minutes apart.

GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK! 

Oh I SO want to reopen this can of worms. I SOOOOOOO do. It will start the fight over again, without a doubt.  

Is it worth it? Probably not. Do I need to be right? I’ve blogged about how the need to be right in a situation can be pretty damaging. 

But oh the “fuck you!” is building in me. Or at least a “give me a break” since I don’t think saying “fuck you” would be a good idea. 

Now, I just think her issue is a symptom of something bigger, about my financial situation being belt-tighteningly restrictive. My savings is lower and I just told her that Christmas sprending is going to be curtailed because I’m paying off debt. She seemed ok with it but I’d bet the house it’s tainting the relationship. 

What to do, what to do. Hmmmmm… this is a “angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other” moment. Part of me wants to keep this behind us. Part of me wants to rip this scab right off and pick a fight. 

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23 thoughts on “I REALLY want to pick a fight with her (Facebook fight follow up) 

  1. You have much better self control than me. I’d take that screen shot, send it, and include some very snarky remarks and probably a fuck you because I don’t have any tact sometimes. I’m glad you’re not me 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  2. So, there’s definitely a control issue, as others have pointed out, however it seems to me that her controlling ways originate from the depths of a vast and absolute self-centeredness that manifests as her analyzing immaterial actions of yours to an extent where she can tie it back to some way that it has or that it might negatively affect HER. And thus an innocuous behavior is then blown up into some “major problem” that is allegedly for your own good to correct when it’s actually her own self that she is ultimately worried about.

    I remember you wrote about an incident where you went to a friend’s house and ended up drinking too much and so you crashed there. It became an issue with “binge drinking,” but it was really only about her being mad you didn’t answer her texts and thus caused her to worry and not get enough sleep or something.

    And now it’s an issue somehow with her for you to be on Facebook during work time when that actually is really none of her concern – it’s between you and your employer. And dicking off at work didn’t come about from the invention of social media…everyone takes little mini-breaks at work whether to go to the restroom or to smoke or to shoot the breeze with coworkers because no one sits and does 8 hours of non-stop work like a robot. Doing so does not make you not “serious about your career,” and the correlation is frankly ridiculous, to be honest. As long as your employer hasn’t called you on it, it’s not really her business. Making you swear off Facebook at work is out of order. You’re a grown man, not one of her children.

    I’m sure she has other good qualities and that’s why you’re with her, but I think some of her behavior kind of comes off as if she thinks you’re someone that needs to be “fixed,” or really, like she doesn’t really think underneath it all that you’re good enough for her or something, so she has to mold you into someone who is. Kind of weird.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. That may be so, but the entry was centered around how it affected Mona. Because she’s a “worrier” and a “black belt ninja.” Noticing a pattern?

        Really, of the people that it affected, the friends would probably have the right to be pissed off the most (not that what happened was the end of the world – you did exactly what you’re supposed to do when you’re drunk – NOT drive), not her.

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      2. Yes they did. No harm, no foul. I’m not suggesting that they SHOULD be mad, I’m just saying that they were really more affected than she was, but she seemed to find a way to make as if the universe was ending. I get being worried about someone you haven’t heard from, but it’s the constant ongoing guilt trips that seem to be the problem.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Studies have shown that multiple short breaks throughout the day lead to more productive employees. Doesn’t it seem odd that she wants someone who has their shit together but is constantly telling you how your shit needs to be? 🤔 The asshole side of me would want to start the fight, but the mom side of me would be too tired.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You think she wants to break up with you but she’s too weak to do so and so she chooses to control you and make ridiculous demands instead? Sounds like death by a thousand cuts. Is she hoping you will grow tired of it and break it off so she doesn’t have to? Why do you stay with her if you feel that way? You have value. You need to find someone who sees and appreciates that. I’m sorry she is treating you this way.

    Like

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