Ok ladies… let me have it
I know everyone is different but is there a general time-frame in which you know that you want to marry a man? And is there a general time-frame in which a man needs to know if he wants to marry you someday?
So Mona and I are closing in on sixteen months together. We’re 43 and 42. She’s getting divorced, has a 7 and a 4 year old. We’ve been arguing a bit lately about a couple things… but just when things settled she asked me a question, I forget the wording but it was basically “do you see us together long term and getting married someday? ” No time-frame, but she needs to know if I KNOW we are for sure.
(Her divorce is being finalized and we’ll be moving into the “stay over her house every other weekend for the entire weekend” phase, and me meeting her kids within six months after the divorce is final or so. I get it, she’s vetting me. And she doesn’t want to waste time.)
So did I say “yes, definitely, my love”?
I don’t know why, but I said “as much as I can at this moment” or something lame like that. There was a crazy conversation that followed. She was mad and hurt. Feels like she’s wasting her time. I told her I’m not ready to talk about being with her forever yet. That wasn’t good enough. She needs me to be all in at this point.
Yes, it’s been sixteen months. A week or two ago it wouldn’t be a question. I think the recent arguments really got me unsure. She’s very high maintenence and I’ve been dealing with it. But two dsys ago during an argument she actually texted “maybe you should be with a low maintenence woman.” Of course that was my chance. Or at least a test. I of course said no, but now she’s planted the seed of doubt.
That was yesterday and she still hasn’t recovered. Text wise it’s been a few short texts but mainly the silent treatment.
Well, I see she just texted. Let’s see what’s up now?