Mona and I had another argument today about our recent argument. She came back and apologized for being so hard on me and expecting change within a week.
Which was nice. But ultimately doesn’t change the fact that I don’t have a job or any income coming in. She’s vetting me for possible husband and step-father for her kids. I completely understand.
And I want that. She’s not a perfect woman. I’m not a perfect man. We all have our stuff. But we’re GREAT together and I am going to fight tooth and nail for that future. God is putting it 5 feet from me. I have to cover that next 5 feet by getting my shit together again.
It had fallen apart. It needs to come together again. I don’t need to make a fortune but I need to be able to fend for myself and have a stable career future of growth and success.
She needs me to do that. I need me too do that. We both want the same future. My actions hadn’t shown that.
The future I’m living into being her husband/those kids’ step-father: responsible, accountable, hard working, strong, successful… starting right now.
And for that to happen, I need to BE that already. My way of being. So it’s time for me to up my responsibility game. Take it up 5x. Have my actions, attitude and way of being let her know I’m for real. Let the universe know I’m for real.
I know I’ve blogged about this before. And I’m going to keep repeating it until it becomes a reality.
It’s time to be the man.