So I had an interview on Friday. I applied for it and also had a friend contact someone he knows at the company. Cool stuff. The guy I was interviewing with told me it was a group interview. I did one like that a few years ago, meeting with a group of people. At the time I saw them separately but “we’ll see how it goes,” I thought.
I get to the place and in the elevator with me was a young kid, low 20s, in a suit, carrying a leather binder with papers in it.
And he was coming up to the same floor I was getting off at.
“What are you here for?” I inquired.
“An interview for (same position I was there for).”
The interviewer met us in the hall and escorted us to the conference room with 4 other people wearing suits.
Group interview. Now I get it.
Ok fine. The guy who my friend knew was the hiring manager. He gave us a once over about the company, asking us along the way if we had questions.
“You bet your ass I have questions,” I thought. I whipped out my notes and fired a few away. Others had also but I was the most engaging with questions, followed by my elevator mate, Skippy (not his real name.) (I don’t think, anyway.)
Interesting company, I like the work, what I want to be doing. Similar to work I did at my old company six years ago.
After the Q & A we broke out to one on one’s. Awesome. I met with Pete. Jeans, black t-shirt, tattoos showing, gold chains. Ok it’s a casual start up.
However they didn’t have lots of private spaces so we spoke ON THE FIRE ESCAPE.
Ok. Atypical for sure.
It was like 20 minutes or so. Seemed like it went well. I couldn’t see any reason why I wouldn’t proceed to the next round. The hiring manager said they’d make a decision about the next round by Tuesday.
So TODAY, Monday, I get the email saying “After careful consideration, we have decided to pursue other applicants for the position.”
What the hell are you talking about? Is this some sort of overqualified thing? I’ve heard that before. Also, I haven’t worked at the company where I’ve gotten all of the pertinent experience in 2 years and I haven’t worked in the position most similar to the one I’m applying for in 6. I’ve heard those all used against me.
But he gave a general statement. Ok ok, many companies do. But I still replied to him asking for more details. I need to know. But I’ve heard nothing back yet.
I’m so mad. At myself. For many reasons, most pressingly for not being able to get hired full-time after being laid off almost 2 years ago. I had a freelancing job for a bit but that dried up. Fuck, I’m doing life all wrong. I can’t believe I’m saying this but yes I am.
I know I know doing the same things but expecting different results is the definition of insanity. I need to really change things up. Because my mental state is bad. Really really bad. Borderline strongly depressive. And I have a girlfriend? How?…. HOW? How can I possibly keep that up? How can she possibly want to stay with me?
I don’t even own my car, I have mileage restrictions on my lease so I can’t drive Über.
Ugh. A friend offered to talk to someone he knows at a UPS Store for an Asst Manager position. I’ll take it if I can get it for now.
I do so much to try to keep myself positive with meditation and affirmations. Otherwise I could easily become an sad, depressed, bitter, agry man. But today those efforts for being positive are difficult. And Mona and I are going to my sister’s wedding in Maine this weekend. I am so not looking forward to it. “Hey I have no value in the professional world and here’s my supporting yet ultimately disappointed girlfriend.
I know this is the time of really testing my grit. I’m going to hang in there are thrive eventually, but for now I need to get this out of my head.
This is such a fucking challenging time. I don’t wish this on anyone.