So my gf Mona and I text a lot.
We text good morning, good night. We check in throughout the day seeing how we’re doing and saying how much we love each other and miss each other.
We send kissy and heart emojis all the live long day. That’s not my usual style but, fuck it, she likes it. I kind of matched her style of communication. It wasn’t a caving in on any of my terms, by any means. So sure, I’m up for it.
It’s quite a lot, actually. I don’t survey other couples but I assume that’s on the high end of the communication spectrum.
I’m not complaining. I like the attention, to be honest. And the connection.
Today during our flirty fun Mona texted
Extremely touching. And to be honest, I’m fucking thrilled. On a number of levels.
1. This is the deepest in love I have ever been and someone has ever been with me. So taken as such, it’s a great accomplishment for me.
2. Diving deeper, the fact that someone wants me this much is actually confronting. I heard once that people normally don’t let others love them more than they love themselves, which is something I’ve struggled with. Perhaps that’s a main reason why I’m 43 and still single. My go-to reaction is that I always have reasons why I’m undatable. So it’s practice on giving in and letting go. And in self-belief and value.
3. It’s causing me to be a better man. Gives me something crucial at stake in playing the game of life, in upping my game of being strong, confident, responsible, resourceful, successful, ambitious, directed, motivated, got my shit together.
4. Given where I was a year ago with women, this development makes my head spin with amazement at the turnaround.
5. This is a wonderful experience, acting as more than one person, thinking with considerations for another, doing my best to ensure that she is loved, appreciated, valued, soothed and many other things.
6. And also, she’s just awesome- fun, bright, beautiful, sexy, caring, and am overall good woman.
I’m not saying I’ll marry her or that she’s the one. Maybe she is. I’m saying that a miracle has happened in my love life. Miracles happen.
Ok… I’m a stickler on the use of the word “miracles.” This is certainly not curing the terminally ill instantaneously or walking on water
But it is definitely a breakthrough.
Breakthrough. That’s the right word. Breakthroughs happen.
One day I’m sure I’ll look back on this like it’s no big deal. I mean it happens to mostly everyone to some degree, otherwise our species wouldn’t be around anymore. But for now, as I have a moment to reflect, I’m blown away. With what I’m giving, receiving and what I’m/we’re creating.
For me there’s usually been so much resistance in my life so I’m just going to give in, play this game full on, if you will, and see where it takes me.
Good stuff happening. A career BREAKTHROUGH is next, coming very soon. I feel it. And I declare it!
I CHOOSE SUCCESS!