Being tested aka UUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!

Mona. Ugh.

So we had a disagreement today. I won’t go into it because it’s not the crux of this post.

We texted a bit about the issue because neither one of us could talk. She was with her kids,  I was out, but it needed to be addressed even just a bit so we texted even though it’s poor communication.

As I got into my car about to drive home, I texted “I’ll let you know when I get home so we can talk.”

Sometime during the drive she texted “We don’t need to talk. I’m too damn tired.” I knew she had trouble sleeping so ok,  sounded like a valid point and I accepted and responded accordingly.

But then we texted some more and it was clear that she was upset, and she said that I “clearly was not interested in talking.”

Uh… excuse me? I was the first one to suggest talking.

At that point I was fuming and called her.

We had a long conversation about the other issue and ironed it out as best as it could be for now. She still sounded upset about it but calmer.  Not “back to normal” but I’ll take it.

She was also upset that I accepted her saying that we didn’t need to talk, that she was tired. That I didn’t push further.

Oh no you won’t, Mona. I told her that I didn’t appreciate being tested like that. I had suggested talking in the first place. Don’t say no just to see how badly I really want it. Don’t test me like that.

She was taken aback a bit, like I busted her and owned up for causing unnecessary drama in that particular test.

Then she texted and said that she loved me “so so much” and “And I need you. You mean so much to me.”

Women. Go figure.

Now that i think about it, in a seminar a long time ago, I did learn about how women test men to gage their loyalty,  love, abilities to provide, protect and handle the woman’s crazy side, etc. I can’t recall but it’s probably on a woman’s unconscious level as a vetting process.  Or maybe it’s conscious. You tell me.

I know my female readers will have good feedback on this. 


  1. Um. No, no we don’t tend to do that.

    However she sounds like she’s really high emotional maintenance. I tend to run from women like that so not sure I’m that helpful :/

    Good luck!

    Liked by 4 people

  2. You did right by standing up for yourself. We women like that, too. Putting us in our place when we deserve it. lol

    She knows what she has in you. Disagreements are normal and part of the process. You can’t always be 100% perfect and you guys do a good job figuring it out. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I think sometimes it’s intentional and sometimes it’s not; depends on the emotional context. Which doesn’t help. I think you did right by calling her on it – that establishes trust. Good job.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I know it’s immature and totally wrong but I do this too. Not really with hubby anymore but I definitely used to. I’m pretty open, honest and I don’t play games. But I have caught myself testing a man to see if he really cares. Having said that? If u offered to talk and I TURNED IT DOWN?? LOL That’s 100% on me even if Im the pms monster from hell 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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