So things with Mona are hot and heavy. Which is absolutely great. I love her. She’s beautiful and sexy, fun and bright. A good person. I love just talking to her. And she now likes Game of Thrones : )
We text a lot. We only see each other only twice a week so we make up for it with texting. And the good nights take a while because we’re going back and forth with “miss you”s, “love you”s etc.
Honestly, the volume isn’t quite my style. But she likes it, it “waters her plant” so ok I’ll support it.
Tonight she put it like this:
Very very cute. And great to see in an INCOMING text.
Part of me doesn’t want to accept that a woman loves me as much as it seems she does. Like I don’t deserve it, can’t maintain it, can’t keep it, it’s just the oxytocin talking.
Part of me has to get over it. This is happening, it’s real. I (partially) made this happen. It’s ok to have success with women.
And looking forward, on a certain level, I certainly do need to raise my game.
It’s inspiring. It makes me want to be a better man. Like Jack said in As Good As It Gets:
She/love makes me want to be the man I want to be (if that makes sense): strong, confident, responsible/can handle responsibilities, a go-to man, can handle the resources of the world and can generate resources for myself/us, established, ambitious, focused, directed and in general, have my shit together, home owner, provider/protector.
I’m not those things now. Not to the extent I want/need to be anyway. For her. And for me in general. But it takes a great woman to get me into action on raising the bar. In a perfect world, I should do this for ME not for HER. And ultimately it IS for me, just with something great at stake.
I’m stunned that I have love now. And I’m very thankful for being part of generating it and growing with it, learning to nurture and give.
This is pushing me to succeed like never before. NOTE: I have NOT YET succeeded like never before, but I’m seeing how it’s inspiring me to be.