So yesterday Mona and I had some cool excursions. We went to Governor’s Island in New York Harbor. Once it was a military post, now… I’m not quite sure what it is besides a tourist destination…. but it’s a great place to rent bikes, see a great view of NYC, Brookyn, Jersey City and the Statue of Liberty
So we did, in fact, rent bikes, and we rode all over the small island. We laid about and had a fun time bantering, cracking wise, seeing the city…
We got the 3pm ferry so we didn’t have to much time there before the 545pm ferry back.
I then showed her the Elevated Acre in lower Manhattan, a cool terrace area near the East River where there’s a short boardwalk where you can look onto the heliport, the river and Downtown Brooklyn.
It was at that point, I started loading some pics from Governor’s Island onto Facebook… pics of me, alone. We had also taken pics of the two of us but I didn’t want to upload those. Mona was my Facebook friend before we started dating. I told her I wasn’t ready to put “couple” pictures. I think I said that, anyway. I also said that even though she’s separated, she’s still married (and living with him) and it made me uncomfortable.
Commence: the silent treatment.
We walked a bit to dinner and at some point I sat us down to talk this through and apologized for hurting her feelings. Not really sure that was appropriate but a woman once told me that “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings,” said with meaning, reboots, defrags and starts healing. She said that I didn’t have to give reasons, that saying I wasn’t ready was fine.
Then we walked to the dinner spot like nothing happened.
Someplace in lower Manhattan on the water, drinks and dinner were great(I had Lobster Mac and Cheese). And more views of Jersey City and the Statue of Liberty. (The pics below were taken during another trip to this place.)
But wait, there’s more. I wanted to show her one of my favorite places in Manhattan, the nearby North Cove Marina on the water by the World Financial Center. It was a short fifteen minute walk, the sun was still up, there were some big fancy boats there (all from the Cayman Islands, go figure) and we saw, yes, the Statue of Liberty and Jersey City AGAIN. And the Freedom Tower. .
Ok, we probably should have gone home at that point. It was around 8pm. But my friend “Kevin” tends at a nearby hotel rooftop deck, so we went there for a drink and enjoying the scenery.
After a drink, we took the subway home and had some happy fun time before going to bed. It was the end of her “comma” as I call it (ok ok, her period) but we made it work. Afterwards, she didn’t quite get a comment that I made about sex and…
Commence: silent treatment.
We have a great physical relationship so the silence lasted only a few minutes.
The next morning, she had to leave 545am to be home before her kids wake up. I was very tired and didn’t think I had to walk her to her car. I live in an apartment building. I live in a safe neighborhood. She was parked on my block. It was already light out. It didn’t even occur to me to walk her to her car.
Commence: silent treatment
Oh come on, really?
Ok ok damage control. I threw some clothes on and ran after her and walked to the car in silence, until she told me that I didn’t HAVE TO do anything but it would have been nice if I WANTED to walk her out.
I told her that I was shocked that she didn’t insist that I stay in and go back to bed since it was ridiculously early. We kissed emotionless but lead to a little making out. Then she drove away.
I couldn’t fall back asleep. It was bothering me, so I blogged asking for opinions (it’s since been erased). Concensus of the four women replying was that I was a dumbass. I’ve gotten other opinions since, some that matched my original opinion, but at the moment..
I caved. Since I’ve never done well in relationships, my go-to reaction is that I’m wrong and she’s right. Probably not the greatest frame of mind. I have no intention on being a wuss in a relationship. I have to be mindful of that, not to be a weenie or compromise my terms. That’s not attractive.
Also, as I’ve blogged about a while ago, I don’t need to “be right” inasmuch that I want the argument to be OVER.
I texted (she can’t talk on the phone when she had the kids), apologized and said I’d prioritize speaking to her later to clear the air. We spoke that evening after our respective July 4th festivities and the kids went to bed. I apologized and we quickly moved on and made plans for this coming week.
Ugh. Yep. Relationships are work.
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