Relationships

Paying attention, courtesy and dating

So last night Mona and I were texting back and forth for an hour.

“What the hell, Rex? Why don’t you just call her?”

That’s a fine question.

Tuesday or Thursday are the days that I call, normally, after she puts the kids to bed.  Monday and Wednesday she normally works til 8ish and I figure sure gets home, unwinds, etc. But honestly I guess I could call M or W too.

Regardless…

So we were texting about my job search, then about a FB pic of mine that she’s fond of….

Then an ex coworker sent me a message. She just got laid off too, and needs commiserating and checking to see if her getting screwed is similar to mine. In a few ways, she’s getting worse-ly screwed: she’s the only bread winner, supports a hubby and two kids.  Plus HR didn’t give her an Exit Interview or discussion of her severance package.

I got all of that when I left.

So we were going back and forth about that for a bit.

Then, 45 minutes later,  Mona starts up the text conversation again, noting the long time since my last response. I explained that I was helping an ex coworker and the situation.  “Oh that stinks,” Mona texted. And my mistske was squashed.

So I thought.

When I called her today for some chatty time, she brought it up again. “You disappeared in the middle of a nice text conversation.” I re-explained. It’s been squashed again.

I think.

Note to self: People, especially women you’re dating, are actually paying attention to you in a conversation and expect the same, even through text. So if you have to stop abruptly,  communicate it. Pay attention to how you affect others. Be present to things on the OUTSIDE more, and inside your head LESS.

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25 thoughts on “Paying attention, courtesy and dating

      1. The irony is if you’d just called her you could probably have also managed a text conversation with someone else 😉

        Remember, she’s probably needier than usual given her circumstances. I won’t repeat my concerns here…

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      2. I did score points for knowing her birthday was approaching though she’s never told me the exact date, she’s said she’s a gemini and I looked it up on Facebook

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  1. But hey u learned a huge lesson n should b flattered that she noticed ur absence right? Gotta see the bright side.

    And fyi we are ALL like that lol. Tell me oh gotta xyz for a while, will text ya later n im happy as a clam. I feel cared about n respected 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I scored points for telling her that I’m taking her to the best Italian restaurant in my neighborhood for her birthday (on Monday but I’m seeing her the Saturday prior. She hasn’t told me it was her birthday (though she had mentioned that she’s a gemini) but I looked it up on Facebook.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Okay… Maybe I am a complete weirdo, but when my guy doesn’t message/text/ or call back its normally because he is pretty damn busy…We live together and we barely talk… so, I understand that there will be times the conversation drops off, so more or less, like I said I’m weird. I just don’t see why anyone would get upset over not texting back right away, what if a person is driving, etc…

    Liked by 2 people

      1. If there was more to it then, it could possibly be that she is uncomfortable with you speaking to other women. I have a friend who does that, I think that is most likely why they run from her.

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  3. Huh, maybe I have thicker skin than the average woman but I have never taken offense to a sudden lag in text messaging. I always figure something came up for the other person… and then I get on with what I was doing before. (I am guilty of suddenly dropping text conversations, as well – oops!). However, by the same token, I do appreciate it when the other person tells me they have something to do and will be back later. I should remember to do that myself. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

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