GratuitousRex

Beach Igloo

So today was date #3 with the recently-separated-woman (yes, if this continues I’m going to need to give her a nickname.) We went to the beach. Weather said it was getting to 79 in the NYC area but wow was it colder by the beach. Not surprising.

If there was zero wind it wouldn’t have been so bad, but there was PLENTY of wind. She kept her clothes on over her bathing suit,  I took mine off, went just bathing suit. I needed color badly and wasn’t letting this stop me. It was so windy we couldn’t sit on the beach chairs so we laid on the bed sheet that I brought.  We nuzzled, spooned and laid there.

It was very fun, great talking,  some kissing, though I hate making PDA’s that are too long.

We then went to dinner and after that II was so tired. I know she had a pretty long hall pass tonight but I couldn’t hang anymore,  I was beat from being out in the daylight,  and from not sleeping well that night.

Took her to her office where she parked,  did some more kissing on the street.

It was our longest date yet, about 7 hours in total.

Then came home to texts asking me if anything else was up with me because she was getting a “weird vibe” from me.

Ugh.

I told her i had nothing else on my mind.  And of course that wasn’t good enough, so we then spoke at 10:30, apparently I wasn’t initiating enough physical engagement. She’s also weirded out if I’m quiet for too long in the car. 

Ugh.

I don’t feel the need to fill every silence with something. I’m good with some silences. As for the physical engagement, ok I can see that. I wasn’t initiating cuddles on the beach. It’s not something I’m really inclined to do on the beach. I mean,  perhaps she wouldn’t either of it weren’t cold and windy.

She’s also still asking me more questions about past relationships.  I guess she really sees me as a potential relationship, not just a transitional man or just something physical.

We did some making out on the street as we said goodbye,  no big make out session like the first two dates.  Honestly I was konked out from the day. I told her that was it, nothing more,  though I don’t think she believed it.

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31 comments

  1. Do yourself a favor quickly. Introduce her to silence. Beaches are noisy, forested park areas are not. Show her how to sit in silence and experience a moment without speech while assuring her that this gains brownie points. Of course, to be fair, you have to also bend toward her wants in return. If you’re lucky you can break up a 7 hour date in away that both silence and muffled murmurs get equal time. Silence does not mean lack of affection or attention, rather it is in the solitude in which great spires are born. Peace and harmony do not thrive well in constant perturbation. When she can realize that even in silence you are you and going no where, then you both will have the calm to live without neediness. Birds don’t sing because their happy, and they don’t yelp for a mate when they already have one.

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  2. I think it’s because it’s new and there’s plenty to discover about one another. I enjoy comfortable silence. But in the beginning, I might get a little weirded out lol. We’re chicks and we think way too much when we’re not making out or having sex 🙂

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  3. Okay my dear. Take this as it’s intended…

    In her situation, my guess is she’s HIGHLY needy. So things are likely to bother her more than they might normally. Depending on the marriage she’s coming out of, she may need more than usual attention, affection, etc., in order to reassure her, make her feel wanted again, etc.

    And the thing about her asking lots of questions? I wouldn’t read too much into that. Not that I don’t think you are awesome, but she could also be sussing out how “stable” your relationships are, given what her needs are right now.

    I dunno. I’m super glad you guys are having fun together but she is in a pretty crap place potentially and may not be able to articulate everything she wants and needs right now.

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  4. I think she is far too needy, far too soon. I am glad you are having fun with her, you deserve fun. However, I think she is looking for something entirely different right now. Be careful.

    (You know that my comments come from a place of caring about you. XO.)

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  5. Ok Rex,
    now is the time where you ask yourself how much you like her 🙂
    She needs reassurance so if you think you can be there for her, just do it. If not, maybe you’ll have to tell her. It’s clear that she likes you a lot 🙂

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  7. I think wanting to not continue the date probably spooked her a bit. The beach is exhausting so I can fully understand that.

    Next time you see her, grab that woman and toss her in the back of your car and show her some passion! 😉 lol!

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  11. Hmmmmm… Sounds like there is potential. The first few dates are hard and awkward and yeah. If you dig her I’d say keep going and see what happens. If you’re completely turned off by the fact that she’s already nagging then dip out. I think what she is doing so far is harmless and who knows maybe you were a complete weirdo on date three which tells a woman you’re not into it 😝 good luck!

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