Ok so I went to the supermarket today and bought some food so I could eat take out even less than I already am.
Cereal, coffee, milk, eggs, pb&j. Even ramen noodles, the kind that’s like 4 for $1. Oh the belt is tightening.
But no tuna fish. Blek.
And since I wanted to go to Taco Bell, I recalled that I like to make tacos on my own. But this time, I’d go healthier and instead of taco shells, I’d use leaves of lettuce as the medium. I see all these hippies doing that these days. Eff it. I’ll give it a try.
Chicken, some marinate, tomatoes, a pepper, an onion, some lettuce. Oh yeah, these are going to be good.
Chopped everything up, Cooked the chicken, bella nice nice. I removed the tight plastic wrap on the lettuce and peeled off individual leaves. The head of lettuce was pretty damn tight. Granted I probably haven’t bought lettuce in years.
I put all the food on the leaves and was ready to eat:
But when I ate, the lettuce was very stiff and plasticy. I soldiered through two and was full. But ugh they just sat in my stomach from the bad lettuce.
I decided to go back to the supermarket and let them know it was a bad batch of lettuce. It’s just around the corner.
In I went with my opened, used head of lettuce, ready to not make a scene but let them know their product is bad, and would happily receive any reward for my troubles.
Then I noticed that there was also a sign that the weather conditions in California were affecting the quality of leafy vegetables.
Ok I missed the sign originally. My bad. But I decided to tell the manager anyway and see what could be done.
I found a manager, told him about the poor quality of the lettuce, that California conditions are indeed affecting the lettuce. He looked at it and said:
“You bought cabbage.”
OF A BITCH!
No wonder why the leafy tacos were awful. Stupid cabbage. When I bought it I just grabbed and went. It hadn’t even entered my mind. In fact, I’d completely forgotten that cabbage even existed.
Who eats cabbage? Blek.
PS. He gave me a free head of actual lettuce. We’ll see how that goes.
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