Oh Lettuce!

Ok so I went to the supermarket today and bought some food so I could eat take out even less than I already am.

Cereal, coffee, milk, eggs, pb&j. Even ramen noodles, the kind that’s like 4 for $1. Oh the belt is tightening.

But no tuna fish. Blek.

And since I wanted to go to Taco Bell, I recalled that I like to make tacos on my own. But this time,  I’d go healthier and instead of taco shells,  I’d use leaves of lettuce as the medium. I see all these  hippies doing that these days. Eff it. I’ll give it a try.

Chicken, some marinate, tomatoes, a pepper, an onion, some lettuce. Oh yeah,  these are going to be good.

Chopped everything up, Cooked the chicken, bella nice nice. I removed the tight plastic wrap on the lettuce and peeled off individual leaves. The head of lettuce was pretty damn tight. Granted I probably haven’t bought lettuce in years.

I put all the food on the leaves and was ready to eat:


Aw yeah.

But when I ate, the lettuce was very stiff and plasticy. I soldiered through two and was full. But ugh they just sat in my stomach from the bad lettuce.

I decided to go back to the supermarket and let them know it was a bad batch of lettuce. It’s just around the corner.

In I went with my opened, used head of lettuce, ready to not make a scene but let them know their product is bad, and would happily receive any reward for my troubles.

Then I noticed that there was also a sign that the weather conditions in California were affecting the quality of leafy vegetables.


Ok I missed the sign originally.  My bad. But I decided to tell the manager anyway and see what could be done.

I found a manager, told him about the poor quality of the lettuce, that California conditions are indeed affecting the lettuce.  He looked at it and said:

“You bought cabbage.”


No wonder why the leafy tacos were  awful. Stupid cabbage. When I bought it I just grabbed and went. It hadn’t even entered my mind. In fact, I’d completely forgotten that cabbage even existed.

Who eats cabbage? Blek.

Damn hippies!

PS. He gave me a free head of actual lettuce. We’ll see how that goes.

Posted from WordPress for Android


  1. Cabbage makes fantastic cole slaw. Chop it up with some chopped carrots and red pepper. Add some olive oil, vinegar, salt & pepper, sugar, garlic powder & onion powder. It keeps for a long time and it goes with almost everything. (except dessert)


  2. Cabbage is wonderful! Fry up onion in a bit of butter, slice cabbage, toss it into the fried onion and fry it just until it turns bright green but still crunchy. Sprinkle with salt (yummy sea salt is best). Delicious!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s