Friends, Society Woes

If you fail to make plans, then you plan to be flakey.

Has anyone ever said to you “hey, we should hang out” or you ever said that to someone,  but then nobody actually takes the lead to actually MAKE the plans?

I see all of you nodding your head.

It happens to all of us.

Happened to me last Thursday. An ex coworker “Sally” passed me, couldn’t stay and said “hey, we should catch up” and walked away. And no, she wasn’t flirting, she’s got a bf that she bdating bforever. Too bad too. She fine.

But… she didn’t make actual plans. It’s almost as if just stating that you(the proverbial “you”) would like to see somebody actually gives you points.

Like “hey man, I know we’re not REALLY friends so I’m going to act like it somewhat but let’s have a silent agreement that my half-effort is enough.”

Or… the actual making of the plans is perceived as a big pain in the ass. I’m certain that people in my big-group-of-friends-that-I-had-dinner-with recently have said “hey, we should all do dinner sometime” at least a half dozen times before someone actually stepped up to make plans (which was me in this case, and it WAS a pain the the ass at times, like when the restaurant lost my reservation, so I understand that point of view too.)

Do are the unfulfilled requests to hang unfulfilled lip service, or the flakey, agreed upon actions of semi-friendships.

Do me a favor, out in your life take notice if that ever happens, the half-assed hang out suggestion and report back.

Actually on Friday,  I’m going to be in the area. I’ll email “Sally” to see if she can get coffee. Oh I’m not afraid to push an envelope.

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8 thoughts on “If you fail to make plans, then you plan to be flakey.

  1. I think that’s kinda like the whole “How are you?” “I’m fine” of this generation and most often means nothing more. Still, it can’t hurt to take up the offer if you’re interested or think they really meant it. If I hand you my business card then I meant it, if I don’t it was just the casual stuff folks do.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. In my experience, saying “We should hang out sometime” is merely a casual saying that has no meaning. It is also a way of letting someone know that you acknowledge their existence and have no problem with them but have no desire to actually hang out with them. Also in my experience, since the age of the modern smart phone – if someone actually wants to hang out or communicate with you – they will immediately put your number into their phone or give you their number to put in your phone. People I already know never say “We should hang out” they actually suggest a specific place or time to get together.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. In a way worse than “Hi. How are you?” automatic greeting. It builds up your expectations… for a second. But, despite what @jcckeith said, even if we mutually enter phone numbers and emails, that seems to go flat after a while, too. Shall we get together GRex? Let’s do a coffee sometime!

    Liked by 1 person

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