Occasionally I have trouble falling asleep. More often than not, it’s because I’ve been drinking alcohol or because I’m overtired.
For me, I find that there is a certain window of time at night where I am physically and mentally tired. Usually from 9:30pm to Midnight, maybe a little longer. If I wind down properly and go to bed in that span, I’m good to go.
Usually, that’s not difficulty to do, especially when there are consistent morning commitments, like being at work on time.
Buuuut, as we know, I’m unemployed these days. I don’t necessarily have to get up at 7am. I could not 8am, heck 8:30am. I try to be at the computer in “job find” mode by 930am.
So with that flexibility, I can stay up longer at night, watching the late night talk shows, reading my book (I’m on the second Game of Thrones book and they’re all enormous, dammit), reading blogs, writing brilliant blogs, etc.
So that pushes me to 1, 1:30am going to bed. At that point, my mind is usually not tired anymore, I’m up. Especially if I’ve been staring into my glowing box of a phone, fucking with my circadian rhythm.
And if my mind is awake, I’m thinking… a lot. And my late night thoughts are never good “Man, am I awesome?”
That never happens.
“They” say “Your mind is like a bad neighborhood, you don’t want to be in it for too long.”
Yep, that’s bad thinking time when I’m not moving around but the mind is still going. “I shouldn’t have done this”, “I’ll never that. Should I be doing this.” It’s infrequent, but it happens. The late night lament begins. This is obviously not good for my general mental health, it puts bad vibes out (if you believe in that sort of stuff, like I do) and most importantly, it’s NOT GOING TO HELP ME TO GO TO SLEEP!!!
After a while, I break out the big the big guns.
“Whoa, bro. You have a diary, you sissy?”
Hey man, GFY. Whatever works. Writing helps me just get my concerns out of my head, even if it’s just in a word doc (not a print journal, what is this, 1988?) (And I’m not going to be one of those people who writes “Holy crap, I can’t sleep” on Facebook. Wrong place for it.)
Besides, Doogie Howser MD journaled at the end of every show, talking about his job, his parents, Wanda or his window-entering “Ay, Doog” pal Vinnie.
So if journaling worked for Doogie, it’s ok in my book.
Or, I can just make sure I’m shutting my night down by 10:45pm every night, no matter what. Maybe if I operated like I had a job, I’d get one. Fair point.