So I was on the dating app “Tinder” and I was in the swiping zone. Just swiping right on everybody(swiping right on a picture means that I’m interested) and figured that I would just deal with the repercussions if they arise- if i get a notification that I match with someone whom I don’t find attractive.
And then, I stopped as I saw… Annabel.
34, lives 5 miles from me… loves dogs, bourbon and football (American Football, for my international audience.) Giants fan, but hey I’m ok with that. The Jets are cursed anyway.
And her pic… dark brown wavy hair, sexy cocktail dress, eating ice cream out of a dish. A playful smile as… a little ice cream was on. .. the tip of her nose.
Sexy AND adorable.
She was probably at a wedding, with no date. Went to the Viennese dessert table and just wanted to do something silly to blow off some stress.
Bless her heart.
And she looked like she smelled amazing too.
My God… she’s The One.
That breeze you just felt is from my mom’s sigh of relief that I found my Annabel. I found the mother of my children, my forever travel mate and dance partner. Stick a fork in me, I’m done.
I finally know the feeling of just clicking with someone that I can’t picture life without her.
But. .. my finger slipped… and. ..
I SWIPED LEFT!!!
What the hell, bro?! COME ON!!! WHY IS FATE DENYING ME MY HAPPINESS?!
CURSE MY FINGER!!!
My sweet Annabel Angel (she likes when I call her that) is gone forever!!
(sigh) You mean I actually have to go find a woman now, like out there in real, non-app life?
What is this the 90s?