Relationships

My Debt is 71% Gone

Oh yeah, baby! You read correctly. 71%… of the original $19,500… gone! I started working on paying it off in October 2016. 

In all honestly, I could eliminate the rest of it right now but my savings would take a hit. 

How have I been pay it off? Well, I used $3k from my savings. And about $2k from my tax return. On top of that, $1k every month from my day job plus most of the $ from my side job taking external pics of real estate on the weekends. 
 

Honestly, I did owe a ton to my therapist, Sheila. She helped put a fire under me, got me on a budget and pushed me to transfer a good chunk of the debt to 0% cards.

AND she pushed me to get my second job.

Now, ok, those are not what I think of when I hear “therapy.” I mean, I knew 0% cards and side jobs exist in theory but… I still wasn’t getting any before seeing her. So would every therapist have made the same suggestions? Possibly. I wouldn’t think the Master’s of Social Work program covers debt consolidation. I’d think this is more Common Sense that I was lacking. Which I guess is a big reason to see a therapist. 

As you may remember, my reason for seeing Sheila in the first place was because my gf Mona mandated it:

A. Because Sheila’s engrained in Mona’s life, especially dealing with her kids. Sheila has power to approve or veto suitors for long term potential.

B. Sheila knows Mona’s life in general and can help me navigate that world. 

C. She’s really good and can give me a kick on the ass when needed. 

D. I’m 44, single, don’t make even close to a lot of money, until 42 years old my longest relationship was 6 months. So yeah. Therapy couldn’t hurt. 

Relationships

She Can’t Even Fake It On Text? 

So ok… something’s up with Mona. When I asked her how she was or what’s up she texted “eh” a couple times but didn’t elaborate. If it was about her kids, her ex-husband or whatever, she’d say so. But silence leads me to believe that it’s about “US.” There were no exclamation points to her good night texts like normal. No excessive emojis.

(Cue dramatic organ music) 

I asked her if she wanted to speak. She said no, she wanted to go to bed. 

Ok I won’t push it at 11:30pm. Truth be told, I didn’t want to speak. I had an alcohol-involved company outing this afternoon and picked up a couple more on the way home, so I’m buzzed… but silence and just an “eh” is never good. The thing is…

COULDN’T MONA JUST HOLD IT UNTIL WE COULD DISCUSS WHATEVER SHE HAS ON HER MIND?!

I mean really. I’ve never been in another long term relationship in the age of texting (or in any other age) but do women really drop turds in the middle of rooms and just walk away like that? 

I know my female blog readers are perfect,  but come on….

Opinions? 

Hair

I Do Not Look Like Bradley Cooper 

So a new barber shop opened on my block. Just 4 short buildings away. Oh joy of joys! This is it! I can even get haircuts on my lunch break. Booyah!  Young -ish, hip guys working there. Perfect. 

As of 3 days ago, I’ve had already gotten 2 haircuts there. I guess how I’m describing how I want my hair to be cut, they hear “very short.”

So 3 days ago, I googled pictures of haircuts to show him what I mean. Short-ish the sides, more square-ish as it rises from side to top, with enough length on top that I can crumple it a little.

Boom. Bradley Cooper. 

I show my guy, Dirk, the picture, explained it,  he got it and went to work.  Here’s how it compares: 

Ok, it’s still too short and too rounded as it moves from side to top (ok I realize the shape of our skulls might have something to do with that. But whatever, he’s a professional.) Perhaps in two weeks when it grows in a little, it’ll be in the realm of Bradley. 

Blogging, Cell phones

I Uninstalled Facebook

So I’ve blogged about my constantly checking my phone or going on Facebook, and how annoying it is but I keep doing it. I work from home so I have a little more freedom throughout the workday and even then I find myself picking up the cell phone and going on FB.

Today, my FB app kept freezing over and over. That could have been a sign from the great beyond you get my shit together. So I did one better and just uninstalled it. See?

That’s where it was. 

Ok, I could still check FB from my computer but I NEVER go on from my work computer and my personal computer only gets turned I after work.

But… I still found myself picking up my phone just to look at it. Strange, right? 

Well, cell phone stimulus is known to cause a spike in dopamine in your system. Dopamine is not necessarily about pleasure anymore, but it keeps us seeking. Here’s an article.  Interesting stuff. 
Either way… Facebook has no place in my workday. It divides my attention and I’m realizing what a precious thing undivided attention is. 

Career, Life

I Need a Reminder to Pay Attention to My Reminders 

So I put lots of reminders in my personal and work calendar. Perhaps too many because I’ve started to not check what some are for. 

That’s not good. Sometimes, it could be to say my affirmations and sometimes it’s because I have a conference call. So they span the spectrum of importance, but all are important enough to make a reminder for.

I’m not going to lie to myself. I miss them because I’m being distracted, caught up and sloppy. My mind moves quickly and often I’m scattered. I know life moves fast but I need to slow it down enough to pay attention to things on my schedule. Victim mentality is not the path to a successful life. 

Focused mentality. Careful, purposeful, deliberate. Calm. Thats what I’m going to bring moving forward. 

Career

I Want to be Star of the Month

I’ve been at my company almost a year now. Every month, the broader client service team that I’m a part of has a conference call and the leader of the call is my boss’ boss, Joyce. And on every call she announces a “Star of the Month”.

And that has never been me. Not me alone. Have I been playing it safe to do my job as well, but not above and beyond?  Havre I been year-long on leadership roles? Not often. 

In my last cotporate client service role I kicked so much ass, and got 2 awards plus a 40% raise once.This is a similar role.

I really have to step up a few levels. I want to earn this award. I want to succeed in this role. Now I need to act like it. I need to be proactive. I need to lean forward in it and put my foot on the gas. 

I am Star of the Month!

Career, fun

When at an outdoor work lunch, don’t be the first one to say you smell marijuana

I was out with peers and superiors having coffee and apps. We went to Bryant Park. Behind the big NY Public Library there are these two places, one is like an outdoor bar, the other is more of a restaurant. A co-worker suggested we go there. 

I used to work near there two lives ago. The place for drinks was jammed every Thursday Happy Hour. I’ve been to the restaurant a few times too.

We got to the restaurant and it was closed for a private party. HOWEVER the roof deck was open to the public. 

AWW YEAH. Coffee and snacks on a rooftop deck on the boss. All goes well, talk talk talk, bella nice nice.

Then all of a sudden, there it was: the smell of pot. Let’s just say, I DEFINITELY know what that smells like. NY has gotten very laid back on the status of pot. I’m not sure what it is anymore. I smell it all the time walking down the street. I even smell it sometimes while DRIVING. The other day I saw a van and it was decorated saying that they sell weed. Not sure if it was real. 


Anyway, there I was on the roof deck with peers and bosses… and the smell of pot. I didn’t think it wss appropriate to be the first to say “whoa, did you smell THAT?!” I thought it was best to be prudent… at this… juncture  (to quote Dana Carvey’s George H W Bush.) I didn’t think it was wise you reveal my knowledge and thought I’d wait to see what the bosses said. 

Conversation went along with no mentions. 

As we got up from the table, my boss’ boss, Nadia, finally said “was that pot I smelled earlier?”

 THEN we all chimed in. Yeah, it sure was.  NY is loosening up” etc etc. Gotta be careful eco knows what about me.