Pay attention to when she needs extra love

So Mona’s divorce is coming to a head. Like this week. The ex husband is moving out any day now. The kids have been prepped over many months and now they’ll be without their father for much of the week. It’s really tough. 

So i spent the weekend with Mona while the father had the kids. That was interesting. She told me I don’t open up enough, I don’t talk about my feelings. That I joke around too much and I’m not serious enough. 

Then she told me she’s in no rush to get married again. Especially because, after being unemployed for an extended period of time, my savingd dwindled down and my debt went up.  I’m not in a financial position to get married any time soon (yet she still let me pay for most things this weekend [2 dinners and a movie].)

This afternoon. She texts, says she’s having a panic attack because all of her circumstances are overwhelming her. I console her then drive somewhere. 

When I arrive 6:15pm, I check in.  She’s “not good, maybe a little better.” But THEN… I dropped out of communication and didn’t reply. Half hour later, she’s texts “oh I guess football got you.” I apologize, said i got distracted. No reply. I know she’s busy prepping kids for Monday. 

10:30pm I check in.  She’s furious at me for not replying when she said she was still not good.  She has this running thing with me that I drop away when she’s going through problems. I think I’m they’re for her most of the times just fine but she only pays attention to the bad times. Whatever. She still sees me through that filter. 

I apologize up and down.  Left and right. We got on the phone. I told her that I got distracted talking to my mom on the phone. Then other things in my physical space got my attention. 

She said I wasn’t checking in with her throughout the night. Ugh. I told her it was a mistake, I’m not perfect. Didn’t make a difference.  

She needed me.  I wasn’t there. I’m going to be the bad guy no matter what. There’s no point where she said “baby, i forgive you.”

I’m sure things will be fine.  Ups and down. 


The “Hi guys!” Coincidence

So i had dinner with a couple friends in Brooklyn tonight. At some point, I texted Mona that the guys said “hi.”

We finished dinner, went to an ice cream shoppe. Tasty stuff. More talking and laughing.

As we start our way home, I walk to a subway station and i pull out my phone to text Mona and see that she sent a reply “Hi guys!”

And just as a read that, i hear a woman 30 feet away, addressing whoever, saying “Hi guys!” 



Getting a Second Job

Ok, I have a full time job again. Its been 3 months and looks good.  I’m picking it up well, learning and taking on more responsibility. 

And… it’s a 20% cut from my last full-time gig. And my savings took a hit during my unemployment. And my credit card bill has grown : (

So until my full-time gig grows into a more prosperous career… i need a second job. Something on the side… maybe after 5pm during the weekdays. Maybe alternate weekends too.
A friend works as a package handler at a courier 4-8am. Something like that would work, I think. Or maybe a stock room. I’m strong. Or maybe working in a bar or restaurant. Or work for a caterer.

I’ve put some initial feelers out there and need to stay in this until i get a breakthrough in this area.

Any suggestions? 


2 More Blogs?

So when i started this blog, it was a comedy writing outlet. I used to do stand up comedy and wanted a space to still post wacky stuff.

Eventually, it became a life blog: coincidences, unemployment (at the time)  and dating. Then it became random life stuff, coincidences and transitioned to relationship stuff instead of dating… 

BUT… i have some ideas for other blogs: one like a creative writing game like a Madlibs-type where readers participate… the other idea concentrates on my nerdy, sci-fi/fantasy genre discussion side. 

THREE blogs? Wow. Maybe I’ll set them up on my first weekend with no Mona where I’ll have extra time. 


Duration vs Frequency, Relationship Stuff

So the schedule shift has arrived. Due to Mona’s soon-to-be-ex-husband’s new work schedule, Mona is no longer free to see me on ANY weekday evening- we previously had Monday or Wednesday. Mona will get the kids EVERY evening M-Th. It stinks for the kids but his work schedule is such that he can’t be with them at all during the week before they go to bed.

BUT… her weekend schedule is changing too. Because the divorce paperwork is being signed this/ next week, they’re moving towards a new weekend schedule.  Namely, on an alternating basis… one weekend I only see her Sunday 1-6pmish… then the next weekend I’m with her Friday 7pm-Sunday 6pm.

So… one week i see her for 5 hours… BUT… the other week i see her for 47 consecutive hours (of course in there will be house chores and stuff.)

I’m not sure how I’m going to like this, seeing her so infrequently. We’ll try it on, see how it goes. The 47 straight hour thing. That will also be a milestone for us, I think, the longest we’d be with each other in one stretch. That’s a good test. 

To make up for the lower frequency, I may drive out to her office once a week on a weekday morning and work from there. She has a private practice and a spare room. All i need is a plug and internet. We should be able to have lunch together and have the occasional cuddle. 

We’ll see how this goes. 


My “Regards” are neither “Warm” not “Kind”

So yes, I work in the corporate environment. And I write many emails. When they’re to people i don’t know very well, especially clients, i write them slightly formal (except “Dear…”. what am I, filling out a Mother’s Day card?)

Anyway… emails, like all good things, must come to an end. But how to sign off? An ex-boss of mine users to swear by “Best,” and I picked that up to. 

But my current company has their own way they like things. Now, I could use “Best,” but many of my peers use “Regards,”. Ugh, so overtly formal sounding. But ok. Fine. 

But I draw the line at “Warm Regards” or “Kind Regards,”. Warm sounds nice, like warming the cockles of my heart. And Kind? Who doesn’t like kind people? So generous. So thoughtful. 

So unnecessary! So cheesy! Have people read “Regards,” and thought “Damn, that’s really cold and stingy”?

This is 2016. We’re no longer typing in typewriters. Let’s evolve people.  Lossen up!


Why Working From Home ROCKS: 

So my “new” job is coming up on three months now.  And it’s working with a big corporation and we do have an office in Manhattan.  However, I and the rest of my direct division work from home. I don’t have to visit clients or physically interact with people. 

At first I thought that would be unpleasant, not being able to go over to someone’s desk and ask questions. Not being able to have office banter. I thought my working relationships would suffer greatly and that I’d feel lonely and removed. I originally thought I’d still go into the office a couple days every week just to interact with people. But now, I can honestly say…


I don’t have to commute. For me it would be on the subway. An HOUR each way.  TWO HOURS EVERY WEEKDAY. Now I can’t exactly sleep late, my body wakes up around 7am on its own. But now I have time to run a mile most mornings. My endurance is now such that I no longer run out of breath walking up stairs.

Oh yeah, health.  IT’S ON!

And I take NAP at lunchtime.  You read correctly:  SIESTAAAAAAAA!!! My managers encourage taking a full hour for lunch so the opportunity presented itself and I beat the crap out of that hot iron. Oh yeah. Work/life balance! 

A 20-30 minute power nap in the middle of the day! This is fricking AWESOME. I’m very very thankful!