Life

So apparently a man meditating in a parked car in front of one’s house is spooky

Posted on by GratuitousRex

So I showed up in a friend’s neighborhood a half hour before the 1pm invitation time to watch football. Yes, I could have showed up at the house early, but I had a strange morning and needed to just chill out for a bit. (“Strange” meaning I woke up with Mona and thought I had very light chest pains for a while. Mona freaked out, was about to go to the hospital when they stopped as quickly a they started . I’m fine.)

So I just pulled over in the street a few blocks away from my friend’s house. I texted a bit, then tilted my drivers seat back closed my eyes and started doing some affirmations to get centered. 

After like five minutes, I open my eyes and I FREAKED OUT, twitching with panic for a couple seconds at the sight of a man, holding a coffee mug, standing next to my passenger side door, crouching over and looking in at me. 

Ohhhhhhkay. I roll down my window. “May I help you?” he inquires.

 Obviously, he was the homeowner of the house I was parked in front of, but I was still a bit freaked out. “No.”

“What are you doing here?”

 I explained I showed up early for watching football and just pulled over to meditate. He asked me to move away from his house, that there was a park down the road. 

Something tells me that when he said “May I help you?” he really wasn’t interested in helping me. I think he meant “Fuck off.”

Ok, people think they own the street in front of their houses. And i hadn’t realized that someone just staying in a parked car can seem weird. But I can see that. People do drugs and zone out in their cars. Plus my right eye  which was closer to him, doesn’t always look in the correct direction. So that must have made my “meditation” argument less convincing. 

With that, must have been weird watching me as I had my eyes closed, smiling, saying “SUCCESS… SUCCESS… SUCCESS”

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Coincidences

The Leon Coincidence

Posted on by GratuitousRex

So this afternoon, my cousin Sal asked me to go on his LinkedIn page. He wanted to know what was visible. 

I went on and answered. I also noticed that LinkedIn had a little flag saying that someone else looked at Sal’s profile, and that was a consultant Sal uses, Leon:

So for kicks, I send the picture of Leon to Sal. Sal said Leon has been MIA recently, haven’t heard from him in a month. 

Two hours later, Sal sends me

Summary: I send him a pic of Leon, who hasn’t contacted him in a month. THEN… Leon contacts him. 

COIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINCIDEEEEEEEEEEEEENCE!

(Or… I willed it to happen ; )    )

1
Friends

When a Practical Stanger says “Hope to see you soon”

Posted on by GratuitousRex

Ok, my ol pal Joe posted from the Mets game with his older brothers Ryan and Sven, who I knew through him when we were growing up but I haven’t spoken to either in probably 25 years. And I don’t talk to Joe anymore, just the occasional FB comment, and at a reunion every 5 years or so. 

I said hi to them on FB. Sven replies back with general greetings… then with a “Hope to see you soon.”

Now, unless there is MAJOR effort on his part, not only will I NOT see him soon, but I will probably NEVER see him again. 

Which is fine. 

Now, assuming he just said that to be polite… it’s still weird. There are infinite things he could say: Glad to see you’re good, say hi to the family or whatever. 

But a person whom I have never had a relationship with to say “Hope to see you soon”? That’s just creepy

0
Relationships

I can bend reality to my will!

Posted on by GratuitousRex

Ok…

1. So I have to do some prep work for s thing at work, during the off-hours at night, and I could really use Wednesday evening to prep.

Wednesday is date night with Mona. I don’t like breaking that commitment since we’ve been seeing each other very little these past few weeks. 

But… I could use the extra time. 

However, in came a text from her today. Her live-in, soon-to-be live-out ex-husband’s mom is having a medical procedure done and he needs to be with her Wednesday evening. So Mona has to watch the kids and we CANNOT hang out tomorrow. 

So the universe listened and provided… or it obeyed me and provided. Either way… thanks!  I mean yes, I’m not seeing Mona until the weekend and that does suck. But I need tomorrow night. 

2. My apartment is a mess.  That’s not news. It’s not that far from being presentable, maybe 3 hours of cleaning, which I never look forward to.

My weekend plans were to meet Mona and her friends in the city on Saturday, they’re going to a matinee. We’d then have dinner then she was to come to my place in Brooklyn and I’d drove her home on Sunday.

BUUUUT… Mona texted about her needing to lug a bag with a change of clothes and other things into Manhattan first. She’s coming in the railroad, so it would be cumbersome. 

Ok, fine.  I’ll meet her in the city then we’ll go back to Long Island instead of the County of Kings.  It’s a bit of a hassle for me… but at least I won’t have to clean so soon. 

Look what I did. The universe is bending to my will again. Far out!

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Relationships

Made an Unreasonable Request… Brought my GF to a Wedding

Posted on by GratuitousRex

Ok, my brother in law Steve’s daughter from his first marriage was getting married.  I know her, met her like 15 times over ten years.  I even buy her a Christmas present. 

So I was invited to her wedding…. without guest.  Ok, fine… dinner spaces are at a premium. Mona couldn’t come anyway, her ex was to be out of town for work and she was to watch the kids. 

However, Friday afternoon he let Mona know that he’s coming home Friday night, the work project was done early. 

Now, I wasn’t quite looking forward to going to the wedding by myself. And I had nothing to lose.  So I confirmed with her that she had something to wear to a black tie affair… she did… so I texted Steve to see if I could bring Mona. What the hell. Why not? 

It took him to the next morning but yep, I could. Plus my sister and her adult children from her first marriage haven’t met Mona yet and have been looking forward to it. They love Uncle Rex.

So we rolled up. A fancy place on Long Island’s fancy north shore. A country club. I know the flowers are a good barometer for wedding expense. This wedding must have cost every bit of $75,000. The band was over 10 people. The cocktail hour had so much food that I didn’t need an any dinner at the reception. 

(I know we New Yorkers do cocktail hours WAY over the top compared to other parts of the country.  But I wasn’t paying for it. Sushi, pasta, meat carving stations (separate pastrami and corned beef), cheese and vegetables, etc etc.  So much.)

My sister Beth, Steve’s wife, showed up. I know she and Steve have been going through some rough times and there was rumor that she wasn’t coming. She was, in fact, there but the tension was still thick. 

Ugh.

Anyway, Mona met them and my nieces and nephew. She and I danced a lot. We dance very well together. I got some moves.

It was very unexpected, having her there. We both jumped through some hoops and I’m very happy it worked out. We love weddings together.

And I had my new tux that I own. I have to wear this more often

10
Coincidences

The Fire Coincidence

Posted on by GratuitousRex

So today Mona and I were talking about her maybe getting one of those portable fire pits, and whether it was possible for her to use in her deck or only in the grass portion of her yard. 

It probable should not go on the deck, that seems dangerous.  But…  maybe?

I mentioned to her that my friend Vito has a fire pit and I possibly remember it being on his deck, and that I’d ask to be sure.

Five minutes later, I go on Facebook and see a pic of Vito smoking a cigar BY HIS FIRE PIT!!!!!!!

COIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINCIDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENCE!!!!!!!!

PS- I asked… no, fire pits should not go on a deck. 

0
Coincidences

The Boiling Frog Coincidence

Posted on by GratuitousRex

So today I attended an all-day training at work. In it, I was introduced to the Boiling Frog law, meaning a frog will let itself be boiled to death if it is in a pot of water at a tolerable temperature which is then slowly risen to boiling temperature. 

He will NOT jump out.

Flashforward 6 hours, a FB friend just posted this: 

WOW!

THAT… is an AMAZING… COIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINCIDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENCE!!!!!!!!

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